Demons as Angels & Angels as Demons

Number of posts : 114 Age : 32 Registration date : 2009-01-22

Well, this idea just happened to pop into my head the last few days.

What if an Angel is in Demon's clothing (appearance) and a Demon is in Angel's clothing (appearance)?

I've always been fansinated by Demons and Angels from the bible, except they ain't anything of the sort.

Set in a fantasy-like setting of the Divine Realm of Neveah, where all the gods and goddesses dwell and such. There's also the anicent in-between realm known as the Event Horizon, which is like a wasteland of some sort of eternal twilight/dusk/dawn.

This story would tie with my main story overall. Hence the Origo Chronicles as the series title... I'm sorry, I'm obsessed with Latin words lately, mainly because they tie with the story overall (with magic and etc.) and if people don't know, Origo is Latin for "Origin".

In Neveah, there are kingdoms with wastelands/deserts or something in-between them. There's one kingdom in particular called the Kingdom of Demons. Recently the Demon King married the Queen of Angels, interwining their kingdoms; The Kingdom of Demons and of Angels. Many were against the idea. But when the royal family had children, two twin boys, they changed their minds and celebrated. However that is where the troubles begins.

Nagi Alaric Nishant Kratos

Nagi is the younger twin brother of Dante and the Demon Prince. Although Nagi is a demon in appearance, he was born with an angel's heart while his older twin brother Dante was born with a demon's heart with an angel's appearance. Nagi slacks off quite a bit to discourage his father, Kratos, from making him his heir to the Throne of Demons and become the next King of Demons and bear the name Kucabara, the Demon King. In the Demon Kingdom, if one knows your true name, it can become dangerous. What way, it isn't exactly known. Although Nagi has always seen Dante as the Demon King successor, but due to his angel-like appearance, their father believed it could not be. Soon Nagi tries to shove Dante into the position, and becoming a slacker so his father would give him the title and leave him be. Unknown to Nagi, Dante has nasty plans for him.

Rather timid and quiet, he has a fierce determination when he wants to do something. Unknowningly, he falls for Azalia Namae Caelum, the Divine Goddesses' daughter, since she accepted the way he was. Unfortunately, Dante also had eyes for Azalia and grew vengeful towards his younger twin brother, on top of stealing the crown and title of Demon King. He has a childhood friend and servant Nithe, the Black Daemon.

He has shaggy short midnight black hair and golden blonde bangs. Azure eyes that are gentle and kind, not cruel and mean like a demon's should be.

Dante Beauclerc Alizarin Kratos

Dante is the older twin brother of Nagi and the Angel Prince. Although his appearance is of an angel's, he was born with a demon's heart. He often serves under the name of Kurabara, the replacement Demon King heir when Nagi is slacking off. Dante is usually seen smiling, but he knows how to hold a gruge, especially against Nagi. Angry with their father for given the Demon King title to Nagi, he plans to get even and revenge. Opposite of what an angel is, he's sly, cruel and nasty when he wants to be, while he can be quite manulative at times. He too, falls for Azalia when he meets her but deeply resents Nagi for being the first to meet her.

He has short shaggy golden blonde hair with a black side streak on his right. Alizarin cimson eyes that are distrusting and wicked, not loyal and fair like an angel should be.

That's all so far...

Please tell me what you think. And Feedback, please! Very Happy

Number of posts : 80 Age : 30 Registration date : 2009-02-17

Hey, Meagan. Smile

This could turn into a really interesting novel. However, you've got to be careful of a few things. Now, note that these aren't necessarily things you've done wrong - just things that you should watch for when you start writing. ^.^

First, you mentioned that in the demon world, someone knowing your name is a danger. You also mentioned that no one knows what this danger is. This is perfectly fine - actually, you can make it really interesting, with rumours and intense fear - but even if the characters in your story are unaware of a certain aspect, the author should ALWAYS know them, especially if they affect the plot in any way. Secondly, you want to make sure that Azalia doesn't get too Mary-Sue-ish. That could happen very easily. However, you could also make her a very multi-faceted character.

Thirdly and, I think, most importantly, you don't want to make it too black and white. By that, I mean that you don't want the appearances to be too typical, and you don't want to fall into the angel = good, demon = bad in every single way every time, because then it's boring and a message get's through that people are absolute. However, considering that you mixed them together, you could play on that - for example, the question of whether we are innately predestined to be "good" or "bad", or whether societal expectations shape how we turn out.

All in all, this has a lot of potential and could turn into a very interesting story. Excited to see how it comes out!

Number of posts : 114 Age : 32 Registration date : 2009-01-22

Serena, thanks for the input. It doesn't seem like anyone else is doing the same, though...

With regards to the cooment I made on your plot and with the names thing. I was joking about it. Although, I highly understand what you mean. I spend hours on end to find the names that will fit for my characters.

I do know what the name danger is, just developing it but it is related to the Great Demon King. The Great Demon King, I'm unsure whether to make him the most Bad@$$ Villians here or what, since he is Satan in person...somewhat.

Mary-Sue-ish? I don't know what that means but I highly doubt Azalia will be anything like that. Please elaborate if I'm missing your point. What did you mean mulit-facted character? I'm a bit confused...

About the Black and White concept. Hardly anything is black and white, its all gray, just in either darker or lighter tone. But thanks for noting the uniqueness of it. I've always thought angels and demons aren't always black & white, but a mix. There's also the concept of the Daemons that appear in the story. They start out as gray and depending on their heart, their either become Black, White or Gray Daemons. Mind you they are different from Demons.

I hope to develop the story.

is there anything else I forget to mension or add?

Number of posts : 52 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-26

Hey Megan

to explain some things about this that you asked serena: a mary-sue character is someone who is perfect, but completely and utterly unaware. the girl who doesn't think she's anything special, but everyone adores her; she doesn't have a talent whereas everyone else does, but then as part of the plot development she'll suddenly get some new power/talent and the mystery of this power/talent is used to drive the plot along. Generally, people hate mary-sues. Juuuust throwing it out there.

Multi-faceted is the same as 'deep'; it means your character has more to them than meets the eye. They have more than one trait or flaw; they're not just generic 'good guy who doesnt want to lead his country' or 'bad guy wants throne and will kill good guy to get it' type of thing.

What I noticed about your plot line is how it seems to be the 'good vs evil', which I suppose is a 'classic' but somewhat over-used? (like Serena's comment about things coming across as black vs white)

And finally: the idea of two brothers fighting over a girl who 'sees them for what they really are' hasn't turned into a cliche -- yet. Its the driving plotline to the latest (and when I say 'latest' I mean it was written 10 years before, but is only becoming mainstream now) vampire romance series "the Vampire Diaries". So... watch out for that; there's only so much that can be done before the similarities (unintentional though they may be) become too obvious.

But: angels and demons and gods seems pretty cool; I can't think of anything I've read or heard of where they were all featured in a book. (Maybe elaborating on the god's side of things could become the factor that separates this from other stories?)

Number of posts : 114 Age : 32 Registration date : 2009-01-22

Lindsay.

Thanks for clearing up the Mary-Sue thing. I have to admit, I laughed. The story is completely off to the side of it. First, I have to do the first one and introduce our main players before this book, I'm afraid. I can tell you that, I'm 3/4 done the other book or rather nearly 3/4 of it.

I know its classic, but somewhat it'll blow you away. Mind, you I learned there's only 21 known story plots you can do before reaching the limit. So yeah, it's somewhat hard.

Anyway, I was looking at quotes and found this quote.

“It was probably when I first thought about how wonderful it might be to be someone who touches others through his creations that I found my inspiration.”
- Fumito Ueda
Creator of Ico & Shadow of the Colossus & The Last Guardian

I thought, hey why not. I can try something like that. I also wanted to portray the reality, which I've seen and been through. I wanted to be able to have a reader read my story and be left with something to really think about and even feel about.

A quote that I always say, "Everyone has a story; only some have to be written to be told."

And yeah, I've been watching that show, Vampire Dairies! XD But I think my story will end up twisting it and biting the concept back, literally.

Hm, about the God concept, he isn't like the God we know. In this story, there is techinally no "God", minior ones yes, but no one "God". Mainly the five Divine Goddesses. Then there's the Queen of Angels, the Great Demon King, then the Daemon Master (which is the "God" we know of in the story). Yes, the Great Demon King and the Daemon Master are brothers (Twins?) and yes, they fight to a degree. Twisted Evil

By the way, I got the name mixed up for Azalia. pale

It's actually Kai Azalea Marche (I think Neutral

).

It might change but I highly doubt it. I can't believe I mixed her up with someone else... Shocked

So, yeah, I laughed. Not in a mean way, "Har har".

More like "Oh boy, do I have some explaining to do"! XD

Did I forget anything?

Oh, yeah which sounds cooler:
Nagi or Nishant or your suggestion?
Just curious. XD

Admin Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17

Well Megan, not alot of people are getting alot of comments either. Regardless, the crit/comments that Serena and Lindsay have given you are golden. You would do well to listen to what they have to say. Especially if others are not saying much.

So I'm guessing this is another completely new series?

There's not much to say at this point, since it's just a skeleton plot bunny -- are you actually going to write this? Also, what happened to your other novels?

That asked, I have to agree with Serena and Lindsay about the stark contrast between the types of characters you would be dealing with (in other words, black/white, demon/angel). The problem with this kind of storyline is that it's really cliche. Lots of things have been done a million times before, and if you're going to try and tackle this type of hackneyed plot -- you want to make sure you have something that sets it apart and makes it completely original from other stories.

Number of posts : 114 Age : 32 Registration date : 2009-01-22

Angela, I know that Serena and Lindsay's words are golden and I appreiate it! I really do. And I have been listening, which made the story even better. Every time, I get a suggestion or anything from someone, I take it to heart, unless it doesn't help me in anyway. But, because of their suggestions and warning, I know how to make it better and more enjoyable.

So, I applaud and give them flowers or whatever they like. Very Happy

Mind, you this is part of the current series I'm writting. But it's more focusing on the past events which led up to the present day events of Parallel Hearts.

And for what happened to the other novel ideas, I put them aside for now. It's kind of like I lost interest in them or rather lost them... Or I emerged them with each other.

Well, if I told everyone what was going to happen--and I really hate it when I spoil stuff on other people, but if they ask, that's a whole different story--anyway, it would well, spoil stuff. Unless people want the whole storyline, I won't tell anymore. Besides, I'd like it more if you read it along as it's being written.

But, I will tell you guys this... It will seperate itself from the others. At least, I hope it will... It'll depend on the written result and the readers (you guys).

Does that help explain things a bit?

Admin Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17

I think you confuse what I meant. When I said a "skeleton plot bunny" I meant it in that there's not a whole lot to comment on asides from what we've already said about the plot. I wasn't asking for the spoilers...

So you've stopped writing Electus?

Number of posts : 114 Age : 32 Registration date : 2009-01-22

Angela, I didn't exactly stop writing Electus, it evolved into Parallel Hearts. All the characters still exist. Just the story has gotten a wee bit more complex. XD

As for the story, I think, I'll start writting it after I finish this book. When you guys read this book, you'll get an idea what it'll evolve into and what this story will explore. I can't wait to write the parts when...oops! I shouldn't say. But, please wait and read it the current story I'm writting to the end. I'll start posting them up soon. If anyone has questions about it, just ask!

The truth is, I think a particular song inspired this story. "If We Hold On Together" by Diana Ross. So sue me for being I kid at heart. It's a song that I hold dear in my heart. It did inspire and it fits with my series theme.

Admin Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17

Okay. Did you find a new name for the Obsolete yet?

Well of course... and I think you're mis-interpreting our comments and you sound like we're pressuring you. We're fine with waiting. But because you posted this "plot bunny" and because you were asking for comments, we commented. Not pressuring you to start.

Number of posts : 114 Age : 32 Registration date : 2009-01-22

Yeah, I did. Is Obscure, okay? They control the Coronas, which are their foot soldiers. They doesn't really appear much in the story. They pretty much act like the government where...Well, you'll see. ^-^; They'll be gone afterwards though...once their leader flees, I think. But, to get an idea, you should check out the short stories I put up. They are short stories of certain characters from the series that will appear. They're short of like back stories, I guess...

I know, I put it up here, but I wasn't sure of certain things. I wondered if people would have thoughts about the type of story. And NAMES, I always worry about the dang-gone names! :3 So, it's really just asking if its okay to go this way or should I attack it a different way. I like hearing people thoughts on stuff. It usually helps me keep going and it some times changes the story better. I'm always looking for anything or suggestions that could help it along.

I'm not really pressured...but I have to admit it did sound like it. And it did sound like somewhat, "it's been done before...Blah, blah, blah..." That's why, I want to be careful that it doesn't become cliche! That's sort of why I posted it. So, I know what to watch out for and whatnot.

BTW, feel free to ask me anything else.

I'm new about the whole angels and demons thing, so sure I'll probably mess up on Angel names and Demon names. I suck at finding biblical or good names or heck, making up names... I don't know how my brother does it, but he can right off the top of his head. Only sometimes its unprouncable when written. O.O

I hope that didn't confuse people... *sweatdrop* pale

Admin Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17

It was supposed to sound like "it's been done before".

Everything has been done before. Which is why we all have to think really really hard to be original. It's fine to be inspired and influenced -- but you have to watch for exactly how much.

Number of posts : 114 Age : 32 Registration date : 2009-01-22

Okay, I'm going to go off topic here.

I wanted advice about the current story and I wasn't sure where to post it. So yeah.

I'm entering the last third parts of the story and I need help fleshing them out... Namewise and plotwise, I don't know. Already, I'm confused. I divided my book up into parts "Story Arcs". There are seven arcs...I think. I'm currently on number five, I believe... I think, I'm quite alright with this arc, but the next one is a wee bit...you know. XD Actually, I'm more in the sense of how to do it.

The sixth Arc is the Desert Arc.

Setting is:

Isle of Masca (original name) now is known as the Isle of Lemurés (or Isle of Ruins, The Kingdom of the Dead, the Dead Kingdom, etc)

--> once a peaceful, prosper kingdom, its king loved by many but fell to ruin after centuries of war, now a wasteland, isle of ruins and a tomb

I'll fill in the history part when it comes to it. This is mainly what I was asking about as well as the layout for the whole island and such. Trust me, I do a HECK of a lot of research to bring these places to life but I usually suck with the details and such... Sad

If it's alright to discuss, ask me.

I believe this arc will lead up to the final battle. Meaning "someone" will likely to appear as the final boss. You probably know who I'm refering to, if not, then that's okay. Im' pretty confused by all this myself. I know, I'm talking like the story is a video game or something... XD

Please comment. Help, suggestions, advice, opinions, etc would be greatly THANKED FOR!! Very Happy

BTW all names are not final, so in better/good version you may see them as something different. I would update the changes, but I'm too lazy... If people want, I can post the current names as of now.

Number of posts : 80 Age : 30 Registration date : 2009-02-17

Sooo random. But you said you had trouble finding biblical names.

Tip: Read the Bible.