Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17
Subject: Butterfly Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:09 am
Catch me like a butterfly and Hold me tightly until my wings Disintegrate between your fingers like The memories of your tainted lips
Feel my battered body refuse To die and shatter and fall Subservient to your cold crushing Hands forcing sanity into the Vast collection of broken dreams
Feel my heart continue to beat Vainly on your palms and my Will seep through your veins Until nothing is left but
Freedom
[feedback?]
MinglerX
Number of posts : 80 Age : 30 Registration date : 2009-02-17
Subject: Re: Butterfly Tue Mar 10, 2009 7:49 pm
I really enjoyed this. I liked the imagery, and the ending was also really good.
root vegetable
Number of posts : 52 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-26
Subject: Re: Butterfly Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:27 pm
v. nice as always, bossbabe ending was unexpected, but yeah, tis good
Dark S3cret Admin
Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17
Subject: Re: Butterfly Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:36 pm
Thanks Serena!
I like vivid imagery, and thus, tend to attempt at employing it. =] I was told last year I needed to work on stronger endings, so I've focused on that alot.
Thanks GORGEOUS. =]
addie.e.e
Number of posts : 5 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17
Subject: Re: Butterfly Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:38 pm
Really flowing.. one of my favourites:)
Dark S3cret Admin
Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17
Subject: Re: Butterfly Wed Mar 25, 2009 6:22 pm
Aww, thanks Addie. I'm flattered. =]
mackie
Number of posts : 3 Registration date : 2009-02-28
Subject: Re: Butterfly Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:07 pm
You should get the art kids to draw interpretations of some of the poems we make; especially this one...i wonder....
Dark S3cret Admin
Number of posts : 458 Age : 31 Registration date : 2009-01-17
I'm flattered. =]
