The world passes by, bright and phantasmagorical, as speed whips it into a tornado of indefinable sights. You think you see a face here and there, as you peer out the murky window; catching fleeting glimpses of their blank eyes, or mouths as they form words you cannot hear; other times they’re completely featureless, just a haze.
As you look higher up the horizon, signs and billboards imprint their vibrant displays in your retinas. You close your burning eyes, pushing your fingers against them; feeling relieved as the pressure numbs the pain, and you watch the black warp into other shades of cold colors on the inside of your eyelids. When you let go and open them again, the sunlight zealously greets your irises, forcing you to turn away. It’s not that big a deal, there isn’t much to look at. Even if you did want to get a second glance, you wouldn’t be able to. The things you saw moments before have already passed by, far behind you and you don’t feel like turning around to meet the cold stares of the other passengers.
A loud splat makes you recoil instinctively, your heart pounding suddenly as adrenaline floods your veins. You stare at the window, your view of the outside world distorted by the water and you’re mesmerized by the drops dripping down the glass like tiny waterfalls, reflecting the sunlight through myriad layers. Your breath mists the inside of the glass, as you lean closer to mark their progress with a finger; following with fascination as they cross and overlap the perpetually still, thick horizontal streaks clinging from the splash.
Slowly you watch it all seep away and you feel saddened. Withdrawing your fingers, as you narrow your eyes, the feeling weighs your spirits down like lead. It’s all gone. Just like everything else you’ve tried to hold on to…
Your view blurs once more and you press your palm against the cool glass, dragging it across, hoping to see more clearly. Lifting your hand, you peer at the effect. It didn’t make much of a difference, you think, as you bite your lips, feeling your body start to tremble. Leaning against the window, you’re clearly aware of how dirty it must be, but you find you can’t care any less. It’s still blurry, even more so now. You blink tiredly and it clears a bit. The dawning realization forms acceptance on your tongue, and shame in your heart… pathetic, you scold yourself.
Terribly aware of them now, you feel the tears trickle down your skin, and you try to wipe them away inconspicuously.
Though there’s no need, no one is ever going to notice.
