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Dark S3cret
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Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: See   Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:29 pm

And your breath fogs the misty glass
As you look out the window and catch
Sight of yourself in the mirror

Your eyes turn unwittingly towards the
Throngs of people strolling in every which
Direction and then you see her

You stare and stare and you wonder if
She’ll notice, but before you can react she
Has turned and you see her smile

Stretch honey slow and just as sweet
Across her face and your heart flutters
When she sees you
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root vegetable

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Number of posts : 52
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-26

PostSubject: Re: See   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:12 pm

Angela, someone's hacked into your account. they've mimicked your style perfectly, but they're writing blatantly nice and happy things. I feel i should inform you of that Razz
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: See   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:18 pm

ZOMG NO WAI.

... no crit? Very Happy I mean, come on. I wrote something lovey-dovey and crap so like, there's gotta be something wrong with it. Right? :]
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root vegetable

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PostSubject: Re: See   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:24 pm

Other than the use of the honey adjective and then the fluttering makes my stomach do unpleasent things? Razz no, its fine. you've really perfected your style (i think, anyway. '...wait, lindsay think? since when?!' i hear you cry. 'since i started reading angelas awesome stuff and she made me think cuz you can only give a 'YAY LOVE IT !!!11!!! LOL' comment/crit once before you learn your lesson' Wink i say to you.)
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: See   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:26 pm

Oh. Should I change that then?
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root vegetable

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PostSubject: Re: See   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:30 pm

By all means no. I'm feeling sick in general, so that's a me-problem, not a you/the poem-problem
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: See   Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:33 pm

OOOh.
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MinglerX

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PostSubject: Re: See   Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:49 pm

I think this is good. The last stanza really tied it up well. "Stretch honey slow and just as sweet Across her face" was a fantastic line. Definitely my favourite one.

Write more poetry. I thoroughly enjoy it.
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: See   Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:36 pm

YAY. Will do. Very Happy
No harsh crit? D:
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MinglerX

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PostSubject: Re: See   Wed Nov 25, 2009 7:47 pm

Not really. I adore the style. That line is now my facebook status. Razz
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: See   Wed Nov 25, 2009 7:51 pm

Very Happy
Thanks for letting me know. =]
Plagiarism makes me angry D:< Razz
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MinglerX

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PostSubject: Re: See   Thu Nov 26, 2009 5:32 pm

LOL XD

I love you a lot. Razz
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: See   Sat Nov 28, 2009 12:41 pm

I love you too. Very Happy
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P.W.N. People Writing Nonsense! :: GRADUATES :: Poetry-
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