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 The Moment I Fell In Love

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Alaska



Number of posts : 17
Age : 26
Registration date : 2009-10-28

PostSubject: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:58 pm

[Note, this is a descriptive/narrative I wrote for writer's craft class, it has already been editted and marked but I'd still like to know what you guys think!]

I cuddled my face into his strong chest and breathed him in. He smelled of Irish Springs, clean laundry and something else uniquely his own. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I felt safe within his arms though we were alone in a vast field in the middle of nowhere. He stroked my hair and I sighed contently. There was nowhere else in the world I'd rather be. The sun was setting around us, the sky melting into shades of pink and purple, like rainbow sorbet left out in the sun. I turned over and settled myself above him. He put his hands on my cheeks and drew my face close to his. The touch of his soft lips gave me goose bumps, though I was not cold. I looked deep into his clear blue eyes... and I knew.
"I love you." I whispered.
"I've always loved you." He whispered back.
And then he kissed me again.
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Alaska



Number of posts : 17
Age : 26
Registration date : 2009-10-28

PostSubject: Re: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:59 pm

INDENTATIONS AREN'T WORKING! GAHHHH
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Dark S3cret
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Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:04 pm

Ummm. Just space out the paragraphs then? (That's about the only thing I can think of doing if the indentations aren't working. I hardly ever use indents anyway...)

I really, really loved this line : The sun was setting around us, the sky melting into shades of pink and purple, like rainbow sorbet left out in the sun. Beautiful imagery that works really well with the focus of the piece (sweet?)
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Alaska



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Age : 26
Registration date : 2009-10-28

PostSubject: Re: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:07 pm

I did use the space bar but it showed up like that anyway.

And thank you =]
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:45 pm

Oh.
What about just the enter key... you won't have indents to distinguish your paragraphs, but you'll have a space between them... like...

blahblahblah

blahblahblah

Anyway. Up to you, it doesn't really matter in the long run, unless you like things to look nice and formatted, like I do. Very Happy
I never use indents... which is bad. I just space them out with the enter button.
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Alaska



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Age : 26
Registration date : 2009-10-28

PostSubject: Re: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:52 pm

Well it's all properly formatted in the printed version, so I really don't care about it looked amazing here. =]
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PostSubject: Re: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:55 pm

Well, there you go. Very Happy
Although, I guess, for future ref (like your Break Up story) -- it's easier to read... when it's spaced out....?
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Alaska



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Age : 26
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PostSubject: Re: The Moment I Fell In Love   Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:59 pm

Oh, sorry, I'll do that next time =]
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