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Delrez

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PostSubject: The Bridge Builder   Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:20 pm

So this is an idea I had about this old guy who builds bridges.

Basically what I've got so far is he lives in a small town in the middle of a swamp.

When he was just married his wife drowned in the swamp, making him go a liiittle bit off the rocker

He spends his days building bridges between the solid parts of the swamp so that other people don't drown

As time goes on, his tragedy is forgotten and he's just some old cook who builds bridges

A businessman moves to town and notices all these bridges that everyone uses but takes for granted

He starts setting up toll booths on the bridges

Some of the kids in town get angry about it and start bullying the businessman's kid (I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet)

To prove that he/she is on their side, the kid starts vandalizing the bridges and starts a trend

Eventually a stupid kid torches the main bridge in and out of town and no one can leave

The businessman's kid gets blamed

Some idiot attacks the defenseless bridge builder and gets him bedridden

The kid is sent over to take care of him as a punishment

They become friends and he tells him/her about his life

[I guess the kid is the protagonist now, so I should probably get the sex sorted out]

The kid goes on a secret mission to dismantle all the toll booths

The dad is furious and tells his DAUGHTER (but she's a tomboy, so it's a compromise Very Happy) that they're leaving town

I'm not sure whether she goes with him or stays in town, staying would make a happy ending but I can't see it happening

Although maybe she's 18 and she falls in love with a boy and she moves in with him

Nope that's no good.

Anyway yeah there you have it.

Feedback? Suggestions?

I don't even know how to start this. Sad

Oh and don't ask me why they built a town in the middle of a swamp, I DON'T KNOW.
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Traverse Writer

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:35 pm

Delrez, you finally posted something.

I loved it. I don't really remember reading any book with a swamp in it before as the main setting. The plot is interesting. The swamp is a very interesting twist. Now, my mind is picturing all the bridges over the swamp.

And that IS a good question: how DOES one build a town in the middle of a swamp. Then again, I've played Pokemon and they have islands in the swamp sarifi(sp?) thing. So, yeah, I see it working.

Tomboy characters pure win for me! Razz

All of my main heroines have been tomboys, so yeah, it works.

I also feel that you haven't quite figured out the ending, which is fine. Honestly, I didn't know (and still don't know) how my story ends, so we're in the same boat. Actually a lot of people are often in that boat. But, as you go along, I believe you'll discover how it ends.

I'm looking forward to seeing this story unfold.

Perhaps, to begin it (this is my opinion only) is start with perhaps the tradgey or even say the rumour of this old guy killed his wife or whatever and he's all bitter and such. Just thoughts.

But, I like the storyline.

It flows and you'll build on it. (get it? "Build" on it? Like a bridge?) Never mind me. XD
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Delrez

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Mon Oct 26, 2009 9:55 pm

Oh wow, that is a very impressive joke! However did you think of it? Razz

Yeah, you're right, I don't have a clue how it will end. But I think it'll show itself eventually too.

And yes, I was thinking of starting it with the tragedy, but then the daughter became the protagonist, so I'm thinking it'll start with her coming to town, and she'll see the old guy making bridges, and she (and the reader) will get to piece it together.
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Traverse Writer

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:49 pm

Delrez,

Yeah, that'll probably be the best way to go about it. To lay down the basis of the plot and the story. I'll be on the look out for the first chapter of your story.

About the jokes, I don't know, some times it just comes to me. XD
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Delrez

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:07 pm

And now, I will do a traditional Inventing of the Names as I usually do when starting a new story. This time, though, I will do it in public!!!

First up; the name of the town

Swampton

Marshville


Reed Bog

...Keep 'Reed' in storage.

Reed Creek

Reed's Bend

...Brook's Bend

... Brookbend?

Yeah, I like that. And I could make there be a brook that empties in to the swamp
o.O they settled it and called it Brookbend and then it became a swamp over time!!!!

You see, ladies and gents, this is the creative process at work! Very Happy

Either Brooksbend or Brookbend... I like the sound of the Brooksbend, but the word looks kind of awkward and lopsided.

I leave it up to popular vote.

PHASE II: Bridgebuilder's name

Well I searched for some common names, and I'm thinking either Clark, Carter or Walker.

Mr. Walker

Old Man Carter

meh, not important right now, I'll figure it out later.

Although his first name will be old-fashioned, something like Humphrey. Humphrey Walker. Humphrey Clark?
James Clark? James Carter? Humphrey James? Mr. Jameson? Clark Jameson? Xaldor, Defender of Nox? I kid, I kid. I'll look back to this later.

PHASE III: Businessman and daughter

I keep getting Clara.
Clara's nice.
Why Clara? Can you think of any literary Claras? It seems familiar

Clara Walker?
Clara Walken?
I'm thinking W.
Wainwright?
Yes.
Clara Wainwright.
And...
Gerry Wainwright.

Gerry and Clara Wainwright.

The mom is dead or divorced.
K, Gerry was wrapped up in business so the mom left and Gerry tried to make it up to Clara by moving to the middle of nowhere.
Man, I'm good.

I am really good at this!
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MinglerX

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:49 pm

Steele, I am in love with you. We will elope now, yes?

I really like this plot, and I think you should start working on it and posting (hint, hint). And you gave me about a gagillion namegasms all at once with that last post.

The only Clara that I can think of is the one from Back to the Future II, where Doc falls in love in the old west. Do you remember her? She was chill.

Anywho, moral of the story: I love you! Write! =)
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Delrez

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:52 am

So here's the first little bit. It's just a rough draft, and I'm not quite sure where I'm going with it yet.
I'll post it with the rest of the first chapter in Novels once I finish, but here's the first half-page or so.

Please critique so that I start off on the right foot!

Clara pressed her forehead against the window as the trees sped by. The country road hadn’t been paved in decades, and with every pothole she felt like a soccer ball in a particularly dribble-heavy game.
“Why don’t you turn on the radio?” suggested her father. She punched the knob a bit harder than necessary, and the twang of country music filled the car. Clara hastily turned the dial until a voice emerged from the static. It was a CBC host, talking about the latest book that had revolutionized the way rhinoceros droppings were examined. The drawling monotone was strangely soothing, and Clara left it on as an excuse not to talk to her dad. He, however, would have none of it.
“So how was July, honey?”
Clara rolled her eyes. “Fine,” she mumbled.
“What’d you guys do?” He wasn’t relenting.
“Um, mom took me shopping last week, and we went to the beach a few times.”
She could see the tension leave his shoulders. He believed he had a conversation.
“You meet any boys?” he joked.
“You meet any girls?” she snapped back. She wasn’t in the mood for a father-daughter talk, and she knew that shut him up.
It did shut him up. They drove in silence for a quarter of an hour, and listened to the monotonous voice list off the headlines. They passed a lonely building, the only one for several kilometers. Todd’s Fine Baked Goods, the peeling sign said.
“How do they get any business out here?” Clara wondered out loud. The road had been one of the only signs of civilization for most of the afternoon. “You should go in and talk to them, Dad. You know, give them some business sense.”
“Kiddo, you know I’m on vacation as much as you,” replied her father. “No business for all of August, just you and me.”
“Great,” muttered Clara. Then something in the glove compartment caught her eye. She reached in and, smirking, pulled out a stack of business cards. Jerry Wainwright, Freelance Business Planner.
“What’s your job mean again, Dad?”
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MinglerX

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:37 pm

That was really good. I like the tone, and it's believable. She's a typical somewhat-sullen girl, but she's approachable and I still like her because she's not whiny to the point of begging extermination. The one thing I'd be careful of is not making it one-dimensional; make their relationship a little bit different. Really think about it. The plot is original, and you can do a lot with it to make it interesting. Just remember to make everything leveled and not flat.

Summary: Good job! Keep writing!
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:23 pm

Will it be a novel/novella/short story....?
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Delrez

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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:41 pm

Well, methinks novel, but I don't think it will be all that long, maybe, if I really work at it, 100 pages-ish. And I mean novel-sized pages, not printed pages.
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PostSubject: Re: The Bridge Builder   Fri Nov 13, 2009 12:16 am

Ah. So a novella then. Okay. Very Happy
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