HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistRegisterLog in

Share
 

 "Untrustworthy." Very very mini!

Go down 
AuthorMessage
MinglerX

MinglerX

Number of posts : 80
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-02-17

"Untrustworthy." Very very mini! Empty
PostSubject: "Untrustworthy." Very very mini!   "Untrustworthy." Very very mini! EmptyMon Sep 21, 2009 4:51 pm

I'm afraid that your trust
Is very misplaced.
My heart is a skeptic, eclectic,
Betraying your faith.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
Dark S3cret

Number of posts : 458
Age : 26
Registration date : 2009-01-17

"Untrustworthy." Very very mini! Empty
PostSubject: Re: "Untrustworthy." Very very mini!   "Untrustworthy." Very very mini! EmptyWed Oct 07, 2009 5:59 pm

I kind of love this.
It is short and abrupt, but I think it works well with the message of the poem. The last two lines were golden, especially the words "skeptic" and "eclectic", beautiful diction. And speaking of diction, "betray" and "faith" -- awesome antitheses?/foils -- so great, powerful conclusion.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
MinglerX

MinglerX

Number of posts : 80
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-02-17

"Untrustworthy." Very very mini! Empty
PostSubject: Re: "Untrustworthy." Very very mini!   "Untrustworthy." Very very mini! EmptyThu Oct 08, 2009 5:43 pm

Thanks! Yeah, I like it, too... But I could never figure out why. Thanks for being such an awesome critiquer to help me figure it out! <3
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




"Untrustworthy." Very very mini! Empty
PostSubject: Re: "Untrustworthy." Very very mini!   "Untrustworthy." Very very mini! Empty

Back to top Go down
 
"Untrustworthy." Very very mini!
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Ace foam wing "plans"
» 4" Burrell Kit 10
» Challenge 2: "Shagadelic 70's!"
» Help identifying stoneware signature "S A H"
» "Trailer Park Boys"

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
P.W.N. People Writing Nonsense! :: Poetry-
Jump to: