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root vegetable

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PostSubject: its about superheros...   Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:32 pm

So, this is just a story that's been bouncing around in my head for the longest time; its what would (probably; maybe?) happen if my friends and I were lucky enough to get superpowers. Somewhat of a cliche (forgive me for my lack of accent on the 'e' there; not sure how to get them using my macbook), I know, but for the record: I was into superheros waaaay before I saw the Dark Knight (although I am the biggest Batman fan I know).
This is in the 'other stuff' section because I don't work on it nearly half as much as would be required for it to be considered anything else, and at the same time, I'm not writing it in any particular order, just whattever I feel like writing about.
(Last comment thing, I swear Razz) The character Ingrid is the superhero team's version of Edna Mode from Disney's "The Incredibles". That woman is the shit, and I love her, even if she is merely a product of someone's imagination and someone else's animation. And that's whats happening in the lives of the super-teens (there're 5 of them: Richard, Alex, Meg -short form of Maragret Ive seen-, Izzy -from Isabelle; THAT IS NOT A TWILIGHT REFERNCE- and Finnely); they're going to meet the fashion designer who will make them their 'uniforms' as it were.

INGRID

Beth smiled at the five. Alex could have sworn she wanted to laugh at them. “That’s where you’re headed now, Finn. Her name’s Ingrid.”

***

Violin music leaked through the sliding doors. Izzy shot a glance at Finn, who looked for all the world like he was fighting-off a seizure. She smirked. Maybe this Ingrid person would be the one to finally take the blonde boy down a peg or two.

“Hey, Ing!” Beth called. “I got the newbies here, Angel said its time they got suits.”

“Bring them in.” A voice behind an impressive swivel-chair said. Based on the accent, Izzy expected to see a towering Scandinavian woman, decked-out in furs, possibly with a wolf sitting at her heels. Peeking around the chair’s wheels, she couldn’t help a twinge of disappointment at the lack of carnivorous animal.

“You look frustrated.” Izzy snapped back to reality with a jolt. A petite Asian woman, with long black hair pulled into a high pony tail wearing a tight silk blouse and black miniskirt with heels that looked like torture devices, was sitting in the swivel chair looking at her.

“Uh,” Izzy managed.

“Smooth,” Finn muttered, then yelped when Meg elbowed him in the ribs.

Beth smiled again, and put a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “These are the newest ones; they were in the exp-”

“Yes, I heard.” Ingrid interrupted. She scanned each one of them, up and down, and looked at Rich. “Richard.” Rich nodded and offered his hand to shake, but she had already moved on. “Margaret, Finnley, Alexandra, and Isabelle.” She looked them each in the eye when she said their names, and Izzy wouldn’t have been surprised if Ingrid could now rattle off a list her darkest secrets.

“Please,” Ingrid said, gesturing to an impossibly long leather couch. “Sit.”

Beth was noticeably holding back laughter as the five gingerly took their seats. “Well then, I got to motor, but I’ll see you guys around sometime!” She whispered something to Ingrid, whose mouth twitched into a smile, and winked at Alex before leaving the room.

“So. You are the new trainees,” Ingrid said, once the doors had shut behind Beth.

There was an awkward pause until Rich said “Yes, Ms. –”

“Ing.” Ingrid replied. Izzy wasn’t sure if ‘Ing’ was just a nickname, or a cruel joke Ingrid’s parents decided to play when she was born. Ingrid Ing? No way. Who would name their kid that? As though sensing her question, Ingrid gave her look that Medusa would be proud of, and Izzy decided that not making further comments, out loud or in her head, was the safest option.

There was another pause, and then Ingrid pointed at each of them in turn. “Lightning boy, the leader,” Rich grimaced at the same time Alex tried to disguise a laugh as a cough. They still didn’t have their aliases, but ‘Lightning Boy’ was about as lame as you could get. “Someone who the others will look to, and respect.” She looked at Meg. “Wolf-girl, the ‘rock’; the one who will remain sturdy and probably sane when everything else goes to hell. Blondie-boy; because someone has to be an insufferable joker on a self-made pedestal. Fire-girl; the temperamental yet surprisingly playful one.” She raised an eyebrow when she looked at her hair, but Alex beat her to it.

“The hair was red pre-explosion.” Ingrid nodded with a small smirk, and looked at Izzy. “Shadow-girl.” She smiled, though not kindly. “Interesting, that someone so pale would have powers of darkness. “

Finn saved Izzy from retaliating. “Why are you Asian with a Russian accent?”

Richard groaned, and covered his face with a hand, as though Finn’s comment was an embarrassment to him personally. Meg looked like she was about to hit the blonde, Alex did, and Izzy looked at Ingrid; she had been wondering the same thing, after all.

So? What do people think? By all means, comments comments comments! But please, if you're going to say something, make sure its constructive. Thanks Smile


Last edited by root vegetable on Wed Mar 04, 2009 12:05 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : formatting)
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:08 am

Waiiit, so who's who?

Flo = Izzy

Meg = Gemma

Alex = you?
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:11 am

Oh, and here, feedback:

I like your wit.

Um... nothing wrong with it, from what I can see, at the moment. So I'll come back and give you harsh crit when I'm marginally more awake.

But... maybe space out the paragraphs? Either that or indent them. It'll make it look neater, clearer.

BAHA. =D "A petite Asian woman, with long black hair pulled into a high pony tail wearing a tight silk blouse and black miniskirt with heels that looked like torture devices, was sitting in the swivel chair looking at her."
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root vegetable

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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:40 am

hm... For YOU I suppose I can add indents; I just copied and pasted it from Word, so I didn't really edit it much or anything. And your name guess would be correct; they're our middle names (not sure if flo & gem want that advertised on pwn, but w/e Razz) But THANKYOU for your remarkable feedback; it makes me happy Smile
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:44 pm

Hey Megan here.

Eh?! I ain't Meg? *raise eyebrow* Sad

But I digress. Yet Enda Mode, pure genius I agree! I own the movie. What? I ain't ashamed for liking Superheroes, I've always liked superheros, Heck, I used to pretend to be one when I was little. XD It was sure fun.

I agree with Angela on most parts (well, all of them).

Spacing out your paragraphs would definity help. Plus, i felt that in some places there were a lot of "ands", not to sound mean or anything, but they could be taken out and make two sentences in places. It's nice to try different words, more interest.

Love the description and imagery in it. I look forward to see how it turns out.

Oh, the characters are based from middle names? Embarassed Sorry for getting mad. Honestly, I wouldn't mind saying my middle names, I ain't ashamed!!

Megan Patricia Kathleen Kromrey.

I wouldn't mind if I appeared in your story. I like it, no I LOVE IT! Very Happy I had almost lost sense of good old fashion superheroes (not trying to offend in any way possible) to everything else. Actually, I think I've never read a novel involving superheroes now that I think about it.... Sad You'll be the first, Lindsay. I just watched "Handcock", awesome movie I gotta say. I look forward to see how this story turns out.

*tries not to laugh* Ingrid is Angela?! *smirks* BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I can imagine her pretty well for her in that chair. (no offense Angela, you're prefect for that part). Priceless!

Thank-you and I hope any feedback I gave out helped.
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:12 pm

Megan. I'm sure you mean "Hancock" right? Because what you spelled is... ahh...

And Lindsay, you should work on these scenes more! Have you written the one about me chopping vegetables with my samurai sword? Razz

Oh, and don't forget. Of Airplanes and Vampires for Valentines, yeah?
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:27 pm

O.O

pale *Realises delimma*

Shocked *eyes widen*

Embarassed *Gasp*

Mad Crap!

How did that happen? Oh well, but you know what I mean, right?
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Thu Feb 12, 2009 10:35 am

smooth, megan, v. smooth Razz

Anglea, we must get together and discuss the backstories of our on call girl and the hustler sometime in the preferably near future
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Thu Feb 12, 2009 7:14 pm

Most definitely.
HEY TWILIGHT FIC!

... Or I'm just going to post it. :S
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:44 am

and i finally get around to commenting Razz
well, as you know lindsay darling, i love it very very much Very Happy so write more. go go go!
btw, i totally laughed at :“Why are you Asian with a Russian accent?” like, major LOL
but when ingrid said, "Interesting, that someone so pale would have powers of darkness", i was like "what? you expect people who creep around in shadows to be tanned? "
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PostSubject: Re: its about superheros...   Mon Mar 16, 2009 11:56 pm

... maybe, if the shadows are like, radioactive or something?
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