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 Balloons ~ I'll Miss You (My thoughts for Graduation 2010)

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Traverse Writer

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Number of posts : 114
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-22

PostSubject: Balloons ~ I'll Miss You (My thoughts for Graduation 2010)   Thu May 20, 2010 1:34 am

Balloons ~ I'll Miss You


So many balloons,
Gathering and scattering
Into the big blue sky,
Where they fly.

Multitude of colours
Dance in the wind.
I chase after my dreams
Across the field it seems.

I feel like a little child
Once again I'm innocent.
Playing away, I'll miss you.
Time flying, 'cause its true.
We gotta grow up, balloons.

Balloons, I'll miss you~
Memories of childhood still remain
In that faraway field of vast emotions.
Twisting and turning, we're in motion.

When I think of those days
Long gone, I'm feeling a bit sad.
Yet the sky remains that same shade of blue
So it must be true, we grow up too.

Yet I'm here this afternoon,
I see everyone coming.
Shadows of tomorrow,
I'll greet in the meadow.

I feel like a little child
Once again I'm innocent.
Playing away, I'll miss you.
Time flying, 'cause its true.
We gotta grow up, balloons.

Balloons, I'll miss you~
Memories of childhood still remain
In that faraway field of vast emotions.
Twisting and turning, we're in motion.

Balloons, I'll miss you~
But we gotta grow up,
We gotta grow up,
We gotta grow up now...


<++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++>

Hey since we're graduating this year (yes, I am too if you didn't know...) I was trying to write something to reflect life up to now--er, sort of, I guess...? I've been trying to do something that expressed innocence and my feelings for graduating high school this year.

Time flies soo fast, doesn't it? [sobs]
It's like the say, "They grow up soo fast."


Comments are nice to know. Very Happy


Last edited by Traverse Writer on Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Owle Gray

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Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Balloons ~ I'll Miss You (My thoughts for Graduation 2010)   Sun Jun 06, 2010 12:15 am

Graduation is a tough sunject to comment on, since everyone has a different emotion associated with it... So, I really don't know. It didn't really work for me, but then again, graduation means different things for me, and balloons really don't tie into that.

Also, twisting and turning gave rise to the idea of strangling and writhing (latex and all that), so it did not give off a resonance of innocence. Hm. Again, might just be me.

One note, spelling: 'The memories of childhood still remains'

I don't know if that helped. It's a personal poem, and I just don't connect to it...
but the forum's been kind of dead lately, and I felt that a comment is better than none at all.
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: Balloons ~ I'll Miss You (My thoughts for Graduation 2010)   Tue Jun 08, 2010 5:18 pm

UM. i believe i commented in on this. was it perhaps deleted?
regardless. i will say again. your use of "cuz" bothers me. because your poem is supposed to be a sentimental type of lyrical poem with nice, happy emotions. and "cuz" for me is associated with chatspeak, or rap.

so unless you have an ulterior motive for using "cuz" i suggest you replace it with it's more-accepted equivalent ('cause).
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Traverse Writer

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PostSubject: Re: Balloons ~ I'll Miss You (My thoughts for Graduation 2010)   Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:02 pm

Owle Gray wrote:
Graduation is a tough sunject to comment on, since everyone has a different emotion associated with it... So, I really don't know. It didn't really work for me, but then again, graduation means different things for me, and balloons really don't tie into that.

Also, twisting and turning gave rise to the idea of strangling and writhing (latex and all that), so it did not give off a resonance of innocence. Hm. Again, might just be me.

One note, spelling: 'The memories of childhood still remains'

I don't know if that helped. It's a personal poem, and I just don't connect to it...
but the forum's been kind of dead lately, and I felt that a comment is better than none at all.


I know its a tough subject for everyone. Ehehe... However I was inspired by an artwork on the net which had the subjects of balloons. I can give a link to it if you want to see what I mean. But thanks for the thoughts. And yeah, I didn't think about the latex thing until you noted it. But when I think of balloons, I think of children getting balloons and whatnot. Sorry, I worked at a funfair almost every year selling balloons so it probably had more meaning to me than other people.

It wasn't really a poem to tell you the truth. It was lyrics to a song. I think because I had more of a connection to it, it didn't click for you. However, I'm sure there are other songs I'll do that will give you a connection. Smile

And you noticed it too? [laughs]


Dark S3cret wrote:
UM. i believe i commented in on this. was it perhaps deleted?
regardless. i will say again. your use of "cuz" bothers me. because your poem is supposed to be a sentimental type of lyrical poem with nice, happy emotions. and "cuz" for me is associated with chatspeak, or rap.

so unless you have an ulterior motive for using "cuz" i suggest you replace it with it's more-accepted equivalent ('cause).

I think it migh have been. I've only see your comment and Owle Gray's. I know it bothered me too after looking back to it. I wrote it within 15 minutes if I recall and it was during summatives so it was a bit crazy. I'm sure you understand. Ugh...I hate rap. No offense to rap lovers everywhere.

I've edited it and it sounds better now. I hope I got them.

Thanks for the comment, I'm really thankful! Smile
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