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The Blue Box

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Age : 25
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PostSubject: Fear Is   Sun May 02, 2010 8:57 pm

Fear Is

Fear is not seeing in the dark.
Fear is thinking about how little of what you do matters.
Fear is watching the news.
Fear is accepting you can’t know the future.

Fear is wondering just how much they care.
Fear is daring to hope that there might be something more.
Fear is asking.
Fear is hearing them say yes.
Fear is giving yourself to them, completely.
Fear is hoping they won’t break your heart.
Fear is realising that they will.

Fear is wondering whether you’ll always be alone.




I'm attempting to write a companion to this, about hope. It's not coming out as nicely.
Also, I put it in the poetry section because... because it's not prose.
And this came out of my brain this morning, and it's slightly different to what I usually do, so I don't know if it's any good... ANYWAY, I'll stop rambling and let you move on with your lives ;]

Comments are good Smile
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Owle Gray

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PostSubject: Re: Fear Is   Sun May 02, 2010 9:06 pm

I'd like to see it opposite of a hope poem. Left/Right idea. They don't have to be related in any way, just as long as they are somewhat juxtaposed.

It's a curious take on fear. I'm afraid that's all I will say.
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: Fear Is   Sun May 02, 2010 9:49 pm

Okay. So I feel like the order of the statements could be changed around a little, but it's also fine if you leave it the way it is.

I also feel like the first part is very different from the second, in subject matter. But maybe it's my brain interpreting it wrongly.

The concluding line is a little weaker than I would expect it to be. Especially when you've got this wonderful build up of cohesive powerful lines:

Fear is giving yourself to them, completely.
Fear is hoping they won’t break your heart.
Fear is realising that they will.


In case it wasn't obvious, those were my favourite lines. =]
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The Blue Box

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PostSubject: Re: Fear Is   Sun May 02, 2010 10:15 pm

I'm going to have a serious go at writing the Hope one soon. But I think it may be very different.

Angela - you're right about the first and second parts being different. It was semi-conscious; I kind of like it that way - contrasting two interpretations of fear?
And that's funny, because for me, the last line is the most powerful... But I definitely agree about those three being great. I'm really proud of them Smile
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: Fear Is   Sun May 02, 2010 10:18 pm

Different is good! I can't wait to see it.

Oh. Well that makes more sense then. XD

You should be. Razz
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Owle Gray

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PostSubject: Re: Fear Is   Sun May 02, 2010 10:23 pm

I agree with Angela - the last line was fainter than the last 3 for me.

On the other hand, I liked the olio/hodgepodge of ideas in the way they were put together - I am not sure I'd like to see that altered.
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: Fear Is   Mon May 03, 2010 11:39 am

True. =] It's just personal preference really.
Teehee. Olio/hodgepodge.
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