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Sarabi

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Number of posts : 78
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Walking By   Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:40 pm

Walking by. Laughing. Chatter. Lunch. School. People.
They’re different, and always will be different, inaccessible to my stumbling comprehension. Or am I different? Hard to say. Hard to figure, to determine. I am determined to join them. I will not always be inaccessible to them. To their lives. My life is lonesome, it wants a friend. What is a friend? Is it someone who enjoys your company, as you enjoy theirs? I have those, I think. I have people I like, who I laugh with. But are they laughing with me, or at me? Do they pity my mind? Those who know, who say they never would have guessed, do they lie? Never will I answer this, but for someday, someday soon, or not. I will be with people. And I will not hurt them with my instincts that do not match theirs. It will happen. Someday.

study
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Dark S3cret
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Number of posts : 458
Age : 26
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Walking By   Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:48 pm

Hmm... this seems personal. It sounds so, anyway. At first glance.
I like the train of questions, train of thought. Not entirely coherent, but eloquent all the while.
Very confessional type.
The feeling comes through quite nicely -- second guessing, insecurity...
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Owle Gray

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Number of posts : 163
Age : 26
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Walking By   Sun May 02, 2010 3:05 pm

"second guessing, insecurity..."

...pride. I agree, it transfers a lot of emotion in a very short period of time.

I like the matching between the beginnign and the end. Almost makes it telescoping, like you could collapse the entire idea into a moment: Walking By. Someday.
Or, you could stretch it out a bit to get a glimpse of the situation: Walking by. Laughing. Chatter. Lunch. School. People. Someday.
Or, you could extend it more, to divulge the thoguhts behind the scene, the inner conflict.
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Sarabi

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Number of posts : 78
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Walking By   Mon May 03, 2010 9:35 pm

Three more posts, and I'll tell people the story behind this...
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: Walking By   Mon May 03, 2010 10:07 pm

Three more posts? As in three more comments from other people?
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Sarabi

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Number of posts : 78
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Walking By   Mon May 03, 2010 10:32 pm

Yup study
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Owle Gray

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Age : 26
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PostSubject: Re: Walking By   Mon May 03, 2010 10:42 pm

Sounds like a plan. An eeevil plan. Twisted Evil
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Sarabi

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Number of posts : 78
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Walking By   Tue May 04, 2010 10:06 pm

Maaaybe Twisted Evil
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