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 Changeling: Part 3

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Sarabi

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Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Changeling: Part 3   Wed Apr 14, 2010 8:01 pm

Yes, I did change the title formatting, those of you who nitpick.

ENJOY
................................................................................................................................................................................

The first thing Keelie noticed was the light. It was blinding, searing holes in her eyelids to torment her pupils with a throbbing pain that kept her from clear thought. She searched for her lids, trying to lift them and see, to no avail. Her thoughts seemed fuzzy, almost. Scraps of conversations floated through the haze on her mind.

“My Lord — allowed it — house?”

“— Donal. — insult her — may leave, should you wish.”

As her head cleared, Keelie decided the voices were those of two men. One of them was strange to her, but the other sounded familiar... Peadar. He was There.

Almost like this one name was a key, all that had happened came flooding into her thoughts. She had fainted, no, blacked out in math class. The thing that had stood over her then, ready to strike, had been horrifying. Its arms had been elongated and wrong, its features indistinguishable. Peadar had rescued her, and brought her home. She could remember seeing her mother crying.

But where was she now?

“Mom...” Keelie flinched at the noise that came from her throat. It was a dry retch, not fit to speak with.

“Ugh. It’s awake.” The strange voice was disgusted, and Keelie wondered vaguely if she should be offended.

“Keelie! Keelie, it’s time to wake up.” Peadar again. He seemed concerned. Why? He had saved her, she was all right now.

Maybe if she could locate the muscles to open her eyes, he wouldn’t be worried anymore. She seemed to have misplaced her lips, now. How had those worked again?

“Why don’t you get rid of it? If you would just put it out of its misery—”

“You are dismissed, Donal.” Peadar was tired, sick of listening to his companion rant about the faults of half-mortals. Keelie tried again to find her eyelids. She wanted to see this man who hated her so much. “Send Aislin in.”

“I’ll not force my daughter to assist in your pixie-brained scheme.” Donal sniffed. “His Highness will find out about this, no matter how hidden its past is.”

Keelie heard a door swing open. It didn’t creak or whine, or do anything to alert her to its movement, but she heard it all the same.

A sharp intake of breath, and then Donal’s voice rang out again. “Aislin, you disobey me. I specifically said—”

“I am aware of your instructions,” This new voice was beautiful, dancing its way across the room. “But I also know my place. You would do well to be reminded of yours, Father.”

Two sets of footsteps, and then the door closed. Donal was gone.

Throughout this exchange, Peadar was silent, squeezing Keelie’s limp fingers. She searched in vain for a way to squeeze back.

A cool hand brushed her forehead, and she shivered, feeling as though a cool liquid was traveling in waves through her body. Her eyelids almost seemed to leap open of their own volition now, and Keelie flinched at the sudden increase in light. The ceiling was glowing. Weird. Her sight adjusting, she peered around. She was in an airy, bright room that reminded her of a hospital room crossed with a medieval bedchamber. All of the furniture was made of some dark wood, contrasting with the general lightness. Peadar sat in a chair to her right, and peripherally she could see a form -Aislin?- standing just to her left.

“What—” she attempted. Her voice was still pathetic, but she soldiered on. “What the hell happened to me? And where are we?”

Nothing Keelie remembered could possibly have happened. Monsters didn't just pop out of nowhere and loom over people.

“Finally.” Peadar’s face, now that Keelie could see it, was relieved. How long had she been knocked out for? “Every thing’s fine. Remember the trip Marie mentioned?”

“Kind of. But I’m not going; I told you and Mom that I’m not leaving in the middle of a semester.” She sat up carefully, in case she lost track of how to stay upright.

“Don’t worry; you’re not going to fall over.” The dancing voice from before. Keelie looked away from Peadar to the other side of her bed. Standing there was a tall girl with dark hair. Aislin couldn’t have been much older than Keelie herself, and she grinned at the expression of total awe that crossed Keelie’s face. She belonged in a magazine, with her never-ending legs and crow black hair that looked like it had taken hours to style. “My name’s Aislin, in case you missed it. My family has served Lord Peadar for four generations.”

“Lord Peadar?” Keelie stared at her mother's friend. “You’re some kind of lord?”

Peadar pressed the tips of his long fingers to his forehead, clearly not enjoying this turn of the conversation. “That’s enough, Aislin.”

“Of course. My apologies for my father’s behaviour, your Grace.” Suddenly contrite, Aislin bowed to them both and backed out of the room.

“When did you become a Duke? And I repeat, where are we?” He hadn’t answered any of Keelie’s questions, and that was strange. Peadar was one of the few straightforward people she knew.

“Lie back down. Despite what Aislin says, you shouldn’t stress your body. Not after what happened...” He trailed off, hoping he hadn’t said too much.

“What happened?” She glared at him, and sat up a bit more, inching into a sitting position. “You’re keeping something from me. Where’s Mom? And why can’t I get up? I feel fine.”

“I’ll answer your questions if you try to believe me.”

“Ack!” Keelie yelped as pain thrust its way into her side.

“And if you stay still. Your injuries...well, you experienced an attack.” Peadar paused, not sure how to continue.

“What, like an asthma attack? It was hard to breathe—”

“No, not like an asthma attack. Your lungs are perfectly healthy, but you don’t run on oxygen anymore.”

“That’s ridiculous. All animals run on oxygen. I didn’t take biology, but I know that much.” Keelie felt like laughing. Was Peadar high?

“Just the mortal ones. A few fey can alter their anatomy to do so, but it isn’t common.”

“Wait, fey? As in the little green faeries that sit on flowers?” Keelie giggled. This whole scene was insane. Maybe she was in the hospital, on major pain medications that made her hallucinate.

“You promised to try to believe me.” He scowled at her.

“No, I didn’t.” She grinned, and his annoyance reverted into exhaustion.

“I should just show you. You’re obviously not going to believe a word that comes out of my mouth.” Peadar scowled at her.

Resigned, he placed his fingertips between her eyebrows, and for an instant, that single sensation was her entire world. It forged a glowing line between the fore and aft ends of her consciousness, linking memories together deftly. Keelie’s surroundings rose up, far beyond her reach as she remembered.
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Sarabi

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PostSubject: Re: Changeling: Part 3   Wed Apr 14, 2010 8:04 pm

Please post, people. Even if you just comment that you read it and liked it, or even that you didn't like it.
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: Changeling: Part 3   Mon May 03, 2010 7:40 pm

Sooo... part 3 is... Chapter 3?
I'm guessing that this is the part where you explain this new world and all the new species, and we're learning this information all through Keelie's eyes, oui?

I'm going to have to go and reread the first two parts again. >.> I don't remember the details. I do remember Keelie fainted and Peader being all mysterious though. But that's about it.
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Owle Gray

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PostSubject: Re: Changeling: Part 3   Mon May 03, 2010 10:41 pm

I'm afraid I can't make the comment required. Long, need to read thoroughly. Will read before end of the week. After a brief skimming of the first 20-ish paragraphs, I realized I was about to get hooked, so I stopped lest it takes away from my sleep/study regime. That's good though Wink The fact that it was about to hook.
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Sarabi

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PostSubject: Re: Changeling: Part 3   Tue May 04, 2010 10:12 pm

Haha that's coming soon. the nice thing is that it's new to Keelie too, so I don't have to stop the plot to explain technicalities of the Feyrealm.

Yaaaaaaay for writing a page-turner!!!(Okay, a scroller, but that would only come up in IB conversations. Or my head.)

I had tooo much caffiene today....sorry if this doesn't make any sense.... drunken
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Owle Gray

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PostSubject: Re: Changeling: Part 3   Sun May 09, 2010 1:02 am

I think you might have drawn too much focus on how she can't move: beyond the first description, I found the others a bit redundant.

Beyond that... it's neat that Peadar has servants. His reaction was believable: the weariness and suppressed anxiety. Perhaps focus on giving a more elaborate description of him, rather than the helplessness of Keelie?

I would put ellipses when she hears snatches of the conversation; the horizontal dashes were (in my opinion) too solid for the occasion and somewhat distracting.

So... What's next Question
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