LES ETUDES: Popcorn

This was kind of a dare/request from Katie: I don't know if you were serious or not, but I wrote it anyway.
Also, because I wrote it in two sittings, I think it's very heterogeneous, but oh well.

You buy him in small, medium, and large. You are anxious to get to the movies, but the long wait in line – for him – stalls you every time. The kernels popping around him brought a rhythm to the first minute of his existence, as if an upbeat salsa drumbeat propelled him into life’s joy. He was made to be sold, like some unidentified object, at a small kiosk on the other side of the curtain. He was popped, and buttered, and presented to you in a paper gift bag, filled to the brim. The lights went out. He lay, waiting for your distracted touch. You munch on his neighbours in wait for the feature presentation; you lacerate a buttered piece to take your mind off, to give a distraction to the neurons of your brain. You never even look at them. And he waits, buttered and popped and ready, waits for eternity, set on edge by the screams and laughter of the crowd.
You bring him out, and push his soft, warm body against your lips. His texture is smooth, calm, buttered, but strangely foreign, with that hint of his corn ancestry. You suck off the yellow covering, exposing the delicate body beneath. He sees the big screen, blinding after the bag’s confinement, and your face, its contours illuminated by the movie’s blue light. And in that moment, he gets his only, his last glimpse of Life. As he fulfills the function for which he was raised, a single furtive glance at the film – or is at you? – is all he gets, all he will ever know. And it is beautiful.

Haha, I'm always very serious
(In all seriousness. I wanted to see what you would do with it.)

Ultimately, though - and it kind of pains me to say this - this wasn't what I expected/wanted. But since it's your take on it, it's okay. I'll write mine.

There are things I like about this, to be sure - the "upbeat salsa drumbeat" (despite the repetition of 'beat' in there), the "[lacerating] a buttered piece". But you're right - it is heterogeneous. The second part even sounds - dare I say it - sexy. I'm not sure whether I like it or not.
I'm sorry to be so... displeased but it's just my personal response. I'll write up my own version, okay?

Kudos for rising to the challenge, though

Probably because this formed mostly when that Jaguar commercial came on. It didn't have your regular feel to it, to be sure.

That explains a lot The Jaguar commercial was definitely unconventional.

Yay! My failure has prompted Katie to post her work! I must take care to fail more often (you WILL post it, right? )

YES. YULIYA FAIL MORE IF IT MEANS KATIE WILL WRITE MORE.
(And I say that without regret because even your fails are ultimate wins).

Also. Yuliya, THIS SOUNDS SEXUAL. I think it has to do with the pronoun "he" and not "it". Also, funny! Because it totally reverses the patriarchal paradigm!

If you were to actually read the popcorn as being he.

(lol. I typed opocorn the first time... >.>)

Although you know what, I like it when you say "or is it at you?" (And I love the word furtive.)

And yes. Work has been posted. Check it out

YES TO ANGELA. AGREE.
popcorn sex ftw



>.> it's 10.30. Not my fault.

LOL. We're all horny teenagers. >.>

There y'all are. Soooo:
Good? bad? relative?

Katie, you comment made me laugh.

Different.

Good it is!

You should have seen that Jaguar commercial. It. was. gooood.

Youtube?

Hold on. I'm getting the link.

Ooh, yay. I get to see it again

Jaguar commercial:

http://2009.liaentries.com/winners/?id_medium=6&id_category=0&view=details&range=w&page=44&keyword=&medium=&category=&award=&country=&title_brand=&credits=&company_name=&city=&proceed_simple_search=false&proceed_advanced_search=false

OMG A WHOLE COMMERCIAL WEBSITE YULIYA I LOVE YOU FOR FINDING THIS.

Hours of entertainment await me :]

Slash, the commercial is so trippy, I love it.

Hours of procrastination...
I'm not sure whether to thank you or curse you for feeding my destructive behaviour. ;]

heeheehee. The plot. It thickenth.

Welcome to my world. i've done nothing thanks to these threads.

On second thought, yeah, likewise.
Hours of procrastination.
Stupid internet.

oh shoot. I need to get you that writing story thing. hold on. I'm searching for another link.

... hwaaaa?

Me or Katie?

ARG! you people should be ashamed of yourselves. I can't fnd the paper AND keep you attention AND comment!

Voici est une distraction.

http://www.bufa.org/humour/write.htm

READ. IT. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOOODNIIIIIGHT.

Sweet dreams you two.

LOLSEXSEXSEXSEXLOL.

Katie, originally. But I now need you both to read.

You - all - take yourselves and all my voices, in search of popcorn, reading about term papers, so I can read the other thread IN PEACE.
Or is it piece? Like a popcorn piece?

Ohhhhh yeah I remember you telling me about that. On Sunday. Sorry, short-term memory loss?

And, haha, very entertaining. I really hope that's not how you write papers. I think I get to about #4 before starting. Not that it is all plain sailing once I have begun. I tend to get distracted.

And I am still tired >.>

Yeah, it's how I write my papers. Except for # 20. I know the aliens are tracking me. >.> No need to check!

Speaking of tracking, the Google Ads arre creeping me out. I know they pick up on key words, but seriously... Yesterday, on the thread-that-suffered-our-departure, I had sexual harassment help ads . Today, it's showing me a ceiling painting ad with the tagline 'cover the popcorn'. ok, then.

You know, about a week ago, I was wondering if we'd ver get to 1000 posts...

This is post #1000 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{And yeah, I had to insert smilies or refrain from the exclamation altogether, or else the aliens would think it's 1000 factorial >.> Ths milies tell their own story.}