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 Academia can be so very suffocating

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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:25 am

(Prompt):Academia can be so very suffocating

It’s hard not to stare at her. Even when you close your eyes you can see her. You also can’t block out the sound of her voice, although there is no reason you would want to. It’s soft and melodious; each word that slips from her tongue has its own graceful lilt. You remember that the first time you heard it you nearly stopped breathing. It was so smooth, so soothing, it sounded like heaven and you tumbled hopelessly head-over-heels. So you watched, and listened with everything you had, and it was then you noticed her smile. It was disarming, but then you realized she was disarming – her clothes, her looks, her smile, her voice, a carefully crafted veneer of sophistication and surreptitious seduction.

It’s hard to keep yourself together when she watches you. She smiles, and it carves slowly across her face like honey, the corners of her eyes crinkling, the lines splintering across her perfect skin, betraying the beginnings of the wear and tear of time. She hovers over you and you can smell her. It’s faint, but intoxicating, a curious blend of chalk, jasmine and citrus. Your thoughts are derailed and it’s impossible to piece them back together under her unwavering gaze and unfaltering smile. You try anyway, and she seems amused by your effort. Lately, it’s been getting worse. She has completely colonized your thoughts, and you’ve lost what little control you had. Every time you see her, you can’t help but wonder it’s just you, or if she’s really paying more attention.

You don’t know why she has this effect on you because you’re very confident, at ease in your own skin, which you know is attractive, having been told so by many. You know that everyone loves you, admires you and that those who don’t are jealous from a distance and too gutless to do anything about it. Your peers tremble in your presence. But when you’re with her, you lose everything. You’re powerless; nothing more than a child, naïve and woefully inexperienced. She gazes right into you and you can’t look away. You think you see curiosity and mischief in her eyes, as well as glints of avarice, but you aren’t able to confirm anything because you’re being dismantled piece by piece. You have this feeling that she sees something in you, something unique that she’s never seen before. And it is something she wants but cannot have. You’ve already come to terms with the fact that you can’t speak around her, and you’ve given up trying, but you want to tell her that she can, she can have it, she can have anything she wants, and everything that you can give.

And then she holds you, her fingers splayed across your back. Shivers are rippling across your skin as she whispers thank you in your ear. You are torn because you know that she will stay in your memory forever, but these fleeting touches will be the only thing you get, torn because she is everything you could ever want, but she is something you can never keep, and torn because… you’re her student and she’s your teacher.


Last edited by Dark S3cret on Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:58 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 12:26 am

Warning: (Wrote this in one go. Haven't really edited it yet, so the ideas are kind of jumbled and there are probably a plethora of typos. Just saying.)

Feedback?
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Owle Gray

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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:19 am

Interesting.

The prompt should be made the name of the piece.
I'd put in an 'if' in 'wonder it’s just you,': 2nd paragraph, last line.
I LIKE the alliteration at the end of paragraph 1, and how it flows into the next paragraph, giving off the aura of connected, unified and yet scattered thought. I like the paragraph endings in general: you know when to finish off a good train of thought.
Liked the macho bragging of the 3rd paragraph. Cool

This might totally be a 'my weird head' thing, but I might like to see some academia vocab sprinkled somewhere within the imagery. It's just such a freshly original take on the prompt that, although the prompt and the last line connect, it would give me great pleasure to go 'okay, WOW' reread it, and find telling clues I dumbheadedly (I know that's not a word, but it should be) missed. I just think the last line is a shade too abrupt. If that's what you're going for, good, but it could flow out of the subtext of the story. The blocking out of her voice almost makes that connection, but there could be more. When I reread, there was nothing distinctly pertaining to a teacher. The piece could be about someone else and the last line could be disconnected from it. I'd say, tie it in more. I know you would do that brilliantly. I just think you would really be able to pull it off, and it would give the piece and the twist a bit more unity.

I think jumbled ideas kind of gives this a distinct texture, almost an ID, that you really don't need to take away, especially as it is such an adequate reflection of the character's inner turmoil.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:29 am

OK, I just reread my crit, and I'm really sorry. It seemed like an over-the-top criticism, and that's not what I meant.

What one should see above is:
'Angela, you spoiled me so much with the concealed message in Equilibrium, intentional or not, that I now want to see subliminal strings tying together the canvas of creativity whenever you post something.'

Although I admit, 'carves slowly across her face like honey,' disturbed me to the point of a nightmare. The vibe I get off of that is just SOOO crrrreepy. Eroding, destructive, sharp-edged honey. *shudder*

It's a refreshing take, I like the constant appearance of 'you' and 'her' in each phrase, I love the way you convey obsessive attachment, and I should shut up and enjoy a good work.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 2:52 am

Noooo. You know what, your crit was good. Don't take it back, cause I'm not going to let you. That's the crit I've been looking for all along and the crit I've never recieved. So thank you thank you THANK YOU for being bold enough to tell me what you think and exactly what you want to see improved.

Now, I agree with pretty much everything you said. But I am always torn between being explicit and implicit. While I agree hints that she was a teacher might be a nice touch, I am reluctant to put in too much for fear that it becomes too overt and too blunt. I don't know if you noticed the mention of "peers" and the "listened with everything you had" were my attempts at vaguely hinting at the context of the relationship. Very Happy But you are probably right in that it should tie together a little more.

As for the ending line, although it is jarring/abrupt, in a way that's the effect I want because as you say, they could be detached and you would never know... but aahhh... oh wow. Okay it's so late that it's early, I'm going to come back tomorrow when I am more coherent... but in the meantime; I was curious as to how you would write the ending line instead?
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:08 am

Please resolve the loud debate between the voices in my head (they get stronger at night, you know):

'at ease in your own skin, which you know is attractive'
'which' refers to
A) being at ease in your skin, or
B) the skin itself.

My first impression was B, and I thought it was perfect and comical; but then upon rereading again, I went, 'wait a sec'; now I don't know anymore and it's bothering me... Evil or Very Mad
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 3:59 am

Nooooo: ending's a perfect fit. The your-her, student-teacher duality = perfecto. The three 'and's are perfect; one in the beginning, one right before the blow, and one at the end: they are a lifeline for the reader to hang onto as the blow is dealt. And I don't want explicit: no reference to textbooks, or comfortable shoes, or the long detentions with her, or her small pay Wink It must be something you would not notice the first time, and even after a reread would not be sure is a clue. Like I said, I'd want a mention of school imagery somewhere within the story, so you'd go, ok, the last line flows out of that. I wasn't clear: last line is not abrupt on its own (not from the diction sense), but abrupt in the sense that I didn't connect it with the story.

I picked up on the peers (makes you think of school, but not necessarily the teacher) and listening to her (at that point I actually thought of teachers, because, seriously, who would want to listen to her drone on and on, no matter what voice she had Wink ). Nicely done. And I thought 'colonized thoughts' was kind of a hint, too (it's late, and I'm weird, and it came 9 words after 'effort', and it seems like authority).

Rereading again and again, I would change the 'newborn' to 'child'. It just trips me up every time. Though it's probably a 'me' thing.

I would want to see ONE (no more, 'cause that would make it too explicit) metaphor/simile within the body of the work. Such as (but my examples are pathetic): mentioning that her 'perfect skin' in paragraph 2 is the colour of chalk; or instead that it's like the yellowing page of a book; or that your thoughts are erased; or that her voice resonates across the room; or that her gaze is dissecting you, or that her lips were the colour of red ink.

Now it is REALLY late, and I hate daylight savings time changes, so I will go now, and hope that this wasn't too incoherent, and that I won't regret it in the morning, adn that it helped.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:47 am

I also hate daylight savings time.

It definitely helped. I'm going to work on it a little now before I leave for tkd training.

And you're right, newborn is kind of trippy. ;]

Also, the answer to the debate is A, although it doesn't really matter...

Okay. Adding in ONE mention of school imagery. Razz

Thank youuuuu so much.

*hugs*

YOU. ARE. AWESOME.

Haha, the colonized thoughts thing was unintentional... maybe suggesting that she's a history/geography teacher?

Hm... I thought the pay for a teacher was quite good, is it really that small? I mean, it seems like a steady, well-paid career.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 10:49 am

And your honey comment made me LOL.
I guess what I was trying to go for in using that simile is that it's almost dangerously sweet, but on the other hand it's so good you cannot resist? I also like the tantalizing, deliberate, slowness of honey dripping, and to have a smile appear on someone's face like that is hot, I think. And to be able to smile that slow and have someone enraptured like that is definitely a testament to one's sexiness.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:01 am

Okay, changed newborn to child, and inserted a somewhat but hopefully not too blatant reference to school/teacherrr. I was going to do the yellowing pages of a book, but it detracted from the flow I had/didn't seem to fit. So I chose to do scent.

Your thoughts?

Mm. Authority.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 1:56 pm

Pay for teaachers is good, but it's kind of a cliche complaint that it's not; I think that applies more to decdeicated crazies who come an hour before school and stay 2 hours after school to help students. I personally blame the immigrants >.> Russian teachers' pay is literally impossible to survive on, and it's the same in other countries, so I think when they moved, they brought the habit of comlaining about teachers' pay along with them...

Yeah, I see the honey imagery. It's just that I never liked honey's taste all that much. So, to me, honey will always have that sticky, ensaring texture. And having honey that can erode affraid Gave me nightmares. Laughing I now see where you're going with the slow, sweet smile. lol. I'm just weird.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 2:09 pm

ok, HOW did I go from the perfectly-justified 'I'm-new-to-this-guys beginner kid' to a source of authotity? Since when? (Also, you know when I saw that, I read 'Megameter'. Authority) lol! I'm so far down into the descent of nerdiness it's creepy.

Reread it. It's golden. I'm happy. And I like the hovering aspect - although I think it's a cheat, that's 2 clues right there Wink

Now I am happy with it. My job is done Razz

Don't mennnnntionnnnnn iiiiiiiiit. It's nothiiiiiiing.
(Although I think the repetition of 'u' sounds in Angela's latest post is very effective, indicative either of an overbearing sincerity; a subliminal message of targeting the poor vicitm of the address and warning her of her upcoming brutal murther in revenge for seeing subseraphic text; or a comment on the stuck keys of beaten-down keyboards that a writer is forced to utilize. At any rate, it's very effective. Razz )
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 2:12 pm

That's right. I wrote 'murther'. ^.^
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:07 pm

You are wierd, but also very brilliant and talented and you really don't know how happy I am to have you so obsessed? with the forum. =]

Oh aha, initially the "mm, authority" was my ridiculously vague comment about how authority is kind of sexy, because I like control. But in context, you definitely are an authority: it has to do with your huge covabulary and your brilliance. YOU know what you're talking about and actually give AWESOME CRIT.

So I thank you. And I am sorry that I am no where near as valuable a member in your math club. I'm just not good enough...

I was hoping that the hovering was more of an obscure hint, but eeh. Razz Let's say it's .01 of a reference. Very Happy

DDD: Which one of my last posts? ... Sorry you got that feeling...? Oh god. Your vocab. Is. Orgasmic.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:09 pm

Also, out of curiosity. What did you think of when you read the last paragraph? What do you see happening? Is it a sexual thing or simply a touch?
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:10 pm

Because reading back on it, I realize that the idea I originally was attempting to convey sounds quite sexual. Although most things do when one is a teenager.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:10 pm

covabulary ^ LOL. You made my day
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:13 pm

... Woops. >.>
Um. This is what happens when I type at night. When I'm tired.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:14 pm

Interesting how it's just the c and the v that switched places, isn't it?... all the right letters are there...
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:14 pm

OK here goes, I'll do this in several posts, starting from the middle.

The post before --> the post above, at 10:47

1.01 reference? I'd say like that was more of a reference than the other... Give 'em both 0.7 and go for the good 1.4. Let's say 1 factorial reference - you're still at one, but it has that great excalamation mark after it ^_^


Happy PI day!!! Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:18 pm

hee-hee It is a cool-sounding word. It is officially in my 'covabulary'.

" a member in your math club. I'm just not good enough..." hahahah - you make me laugh. You saying you're not good enough is like a black hole saying it doesn't have enough suction after swallowing up a galaxy. (I can turn that into a 0.5 page long extended metaphor, if you command)

Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm stalking a forum. It's invading into my AdamLambert obsession and my math obsession. As long as you're not creeped out, it's all good.
I've figured it out: I'm a binary individual: it's eeither a 0 or 1 for me: wither I'm obsessed or I'm not.

No grays. Unless it's in my username, ironically enough.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:21 pm

You are WAAAAAY too nice to me. I've been trained to speak my mind or not speak at all. That's all I'm doing.

Obsessed I accept, talented, no. Wait for me to post something good before you tell me that.

NOW, I FINALLY get to the main stuff: last paragraph... wait I'll reread. I've read too much of your stuff lately.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:22 pm

Ah. I seee...

Oh really? Hovering more of a reference than chalk? ... I suppose.

Lol, factorial reference...

Happy Pi Daaay to you too. Hahah. Pi.

OOOH YES, DOOOOO ITTT. It would be so cool. Very Happy Metaphorr galooree!

IT IS MOST DEFINITELY GOOD.

Wither you are, wither indeed.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:22 pm

Aah, that one. I saw sex. GREAT sex.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:23 pm

Really? Alot? Of my stuff?
EEEEEEH. Very Happy Of joy.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:23 pm

AAAH. Ok. I figured that's what it sounds like...
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:24 pm

Your comment: it made me laugh.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:24 pm

LOL. it was an intentional spelling mistake characterizing the tiredness of my battered soul...

OK, it was a spelling mistake. Embarassed

LAst paragraph was SOOOO not a touch.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:26 pm

Very Happy Oh well, we all make them. We are only human after all.

Pooh. >.> It definitely started out as one. I think I have an issue with making normal things sound sexual.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:27 pm

You realize we've turned this post into a schizophrenic quasi-psychodelic message exchange. I can't tell what's what anymore. I've got, like, 5 voices in charge of different threads of conversation.

I'm going to go and write up that extended metaphor now. I want to squeeze in something math-y before I go to bed. It is Pi day, after all.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:27 pm

So, wait, what was your initial idea? Sex or no sex?
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:28 pm

I'm glad I made you laugh ^__^
(that's a response to a while ago)
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:33 pm

Hey, but that's what makes this thread so interesting. Very Happy
I like conversing with you.
(Hm... something I can beat Yuliya at!)

Initially, it was no sex, but it was supposed to sound like sex, so you have the choice of imagining whichever one depending on how you read into it.

Hokai. Very Happy Be sure to let me know when you post it. And I'll be logging off too. We shall continue this conversation when we are marginally more clear-headed, less-schizoid and ... yeah.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:34 pm

This is as clear-headed as I get Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:54 am

OK, the prelude was:
Owle: " a member in your math club. I'm just not good enough..." hahahah - you make me laugh. You saying you're not good enough is like a black hole saying it doesn't have enough suction after swallowing up a galaxy. (I can turn that into a 0.5 page long extended metaphor, if you command)

S3cret: OOOH YES, DOOOOO ITTT. It would be so cool. Metaphorr galooree!

------------

Your command is – well, a command. Razz

Best I can do in under half hour, late at night, after a fervent conversation.

Black Hole = you
Galaxy = math
Black body/Hawking radiation = your work
I'll let you figure out the deeper aspects of the metaphor scratch

The Black Hole rests in a universe of ideas, existing, binding out its time. Around it – a cosmos of ideas, and yet it is an emptiness, the most extreme emptiness in existence. The blackness surrounds her, envelops her features, hiding away the deep core of blazing, blinding light that is kept concealed inside. The Black Hole rests, poised in a sea of creation. A galaxy approaches: it is new, it is an infinitude of possibilities, it is pattern and chaos – it is math. And mass. It zooms across the world, the world of worlds, at light years per millennium, until it is consumed, expended, devoured by the essence of the Black Hole, hidden from view forever.

What passed in the mind of that celestial being in the hour of demolition? Was it fear? Hesitance? A mild diffidence sparked by the realization of power? Is it not enough? Should there be more? More control, more suction, more power… was that galaxy a bigger essence then the hole? Is there not enough suction?

The eternal debate: creation and destruction, light and dark, confidence and trepidation. Ongoing within the event horizon, it sent pulses of Hawking radiation into the far-reaching corners of the galaxies – a byproduct of the forces within. And it was observed by all the life forms, the known and the hermetic, the violent and the placid, the perspicacious and the philosophically myopic. And they called it black body radiation, and it gave them insight into the universe’s inner workings, and it was beautiful.

But a Black Hole does not suck. As proven by Einstein, its job is only to bend space time – to be a unique singularity – to modify the space-time with its immense potential. And all else will come, attracted by the unique imprint it leaves by all that it affects. The Black Hole brightened – perhaps it was merely the afterglow of the galaxy’s demise. There were galaxies yet to be devoured, radiation yet to be emitted: such was the beautiful life of a Black Hole.

One can’t suck at suction when suction’s not the action.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 1:08 am

Tying up loose ends, as I peruse this thread one final time:

'(Hm... something I can beat Yuliya at!)' There are a lot of thigs you can beat me at. Like tkd Razz

And, I'm confused: how is turning people on by making the most normal things sexy an 'issue'? scratch
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 9:09 am

Okay, um.... I just read this, and then I had to go through and read ALLLL of your confusing discussion, and that was long and vaguely irritating as it ceased to make sense quite quickly. Wink But I loooove you two anyway Smile

For, um, personal reasons I really like this piece. >.< I don't know if you've ever had a crush on a teacher, I don't need to know if you have and you don't need to know anything more than the fact that I have, but even if it's the most benign thing, just because they're vaguely attractive, it is So. Awkward. But also, so nice in some ways - hypnotic. Because you can't get away/avoid the hypnotic person. And you've perfectly captured the feelings in this lovely short piece which is perhaps my favourite of yours.
[Also, stop posting things so quickly, I don't have TIME to read them all and give lovely detailed comments. (speaking of, Yuliya, I will get to your People-less. Eventually. I have read it, at least.)]

More detailed comments?
- I don't really *do* literary devices, but the alliteration in this piece is arresting. There's a lot of it. And it totally works Smile "so smooth, so soothing"; "heaven...hopelessly head-over-heels"; and my favourite, "sophistication and surreptitious seduction". (Also, I love the word 'veneer'. Nice vocab there Smile )
- The only thing I find odd is the honey similie - I know Yuliya brought this up; I just find it a little strange. I mean, I don't like honey, but also I kind of find that it doesn't really work because honey is not, as Yuliya said I believe, eroding. But.
- I like this: "She gazes right into you..." because you've deliberately left out the 'eyes', which I think is very significant. And true. You know when someone looks into your eyes and they're really looking into you? Yes. Of course you do. And it is so often teachers.
- And that last paragraph - you asked if it came across as sexual, I don't think it did - any more than it would be if your favourite (intoxicating) teacher gave you a hug. It's a great paragraph - nice but also squicky at the same time, you know? It's so crazily effective.

I'm sorry. This is not helpful criticism because it's basically just "omg angela you are amazing and somehow you have got into my head and written down my incoherent thoughts and made them pretty and accessible."
And I hope you don't judge me for identifying so strongly with this piece. That's just how life is sometimes. >.>
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:12 am

YULIYAAA...

Okay, so I hope you don't mind that I've saved it. And am going to print it and keep it with me foreva... I love it. Very Happy

Also. You have a little too much faith in my mad lack of math skills.

"But a Black Hole does not suck."


And... I don't know. I guess it's not that bad when you put it that way... Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:34 am

I can only speak for myself, but I love you too, Katie. Very Happy

I cannot judge you. Like you said, it happens. And besides, it'd be grossly hypocritical of me to. Not to mention that judging someone on who they fall in love with is kind of silly... (and part of the reason that racism/homophobia/and every other ism and obia out there still exist! -- okay maybe not the obias...) although that is a double-standard in a sense, but let's just assume that the people that people fall in love with are decent, admirable human beings.

But yeah. You get to see them every other day. And if they're really attractive and LIKE YOU on top of that... (I feel it must be said that I amplify things alot though. ;] ) It can get awkward. Or sometimes overwhelming. But our strong social mores... they are difficult to break. I have this thing that, if there is something romantic in any of my pieces, it's always kind of dark with plenty of inner turmoil and power/control undertones with the 'ships.

Tangent: ----> I saw this one movie once, called Loving Annabelle (Idk if you guys have seen it). I forgot how I came across it, but it had a really intruiguing story. As well as a triple punch: catholic-all-girls-boarding-school, student-teacher-relationship, AND the teacher was a woman. What I found interesting was that the issue wasn't that they were both women, but that she was a teacher who had fallen in love with her student. Although I don't think the same can be said of real life... However, my point being, these relationships with strong contextual, chaotic situations = fun to experiment with.

Replies to more detailed comments?
- I like that word. Arresting. Very Happy
- Do you think the piece would be better changed? (Funny. I like honey. -- OOH. Nother TANGENT: Feist - Honey, Honey = hypnotic)
- Funny that you noticed I left out the eyes. Really it was only because I was trying to keep the repetition of eyes to a minimum because repetition sucks when there is no impact/meaning behind it. But it's hard to describe looks and gazes without referencing eyes, I think, since we always look into them and they are the windows to our souls...
- Hmm... would it be safe to say that Yuliya hasn't had crush on a teacher, or just that we're on the same wavelength because we've both had the experience of a hug from a teacher we crushed on? .... lol. squicky.


I'm glad you thought it was effective (because ever since the writing club first started, Victoria, the original leader and my idol, told me I needed to work on stronger conclusions, and I have never forgotten...). Very Happy And that you liked it so much.
I think I just got lucky really... I'm not that amazing... Razz But thank you for the compliment and the great, indepth comment.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 2:47 pm

Angela:
Sure, keep it. Very Happy I'm worried you will have read out of it something that I never intended to put in... then again, that's what's beautiful about writing.

Katie:
I loooove you too. Smile
Don't you think this is the latest of Angela's greatest creations: 'Not to mention that judging someone on who they fall in love with is kind of silly... (and part of the reason that racism/homophobia/and every other ism and obia out there still exist! -- okay maybe not the obias...)' It's just so effective and earnest and people should listen to it. I think it should be made into a poster. Like that 'Stalin and the Children' story.

ok, ok, ok WHAT is this about Yuliya not having teacher-crushes? Angela, you will not be able to back out of the multiple implications of the last paragraph by dredging up that excuse. And since we're all confessing to past obsessions, yeah, I had a couple of staggering sentimental surreptitious soul-yearnings.

I proffer a consideration: I thought
A - whispering thank you in one's ear does not - in my mind - accompany a simple hug.
B - with me, the moments I would share with the object of my affections, my mind would be blank; the fact that this character has a torrential outpouring of overwhelming thought made me think it was more than a moment.
C - I think your personality generally outstrengthens mine, so when you write with the intention of a simple hug, it is too intense for me to take it in as just a hug.

I think how people see it depends greatly on their personality and the personality/behaviour of their crush. And I think that's part of what makes that paragraph GOLDEN.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 10:39 pm

Yuliyaaa... was that sarcasm? Razz
OMG> I totally forgot the Stalin and the Children story! I most definitely thought of some actual storybook fairytale... when I realized what you were refering to. Mm. Posters --> propaganda! Marketing! Yes. Very Happy I like to think I'm right enough for everyone to listen to me, and that I would make a good ruler of the world.

Oh. Well. I was joking really. I expected a fervent reaction like the one above. I are pleased to see that I am right as always. And Aaaah Alliteration. I see what you did there.

Whilst I do believe that how one sees the world and experiences it has alot to do with our personalities, I also believe that personalities have their own strengths and weaknesses in each situation. Some are better suited to some than others. Regardless, the last paragraph was meant to be written in a vague, suggestive manner in which the reader would infer from it what they will, according to their past experiences, equally rabid but unique imaginations and personalities.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:02 pm

Sarcasm?! Where?!!! Shocked

'Stalin and the Children' storybook. ughghgh What is it with you and giving me nightmares?
I love you anyway. Very Happy

Yeah, if you'd missed the alliteration, I'd be worried. Really worried. For your eyesight.

And apparently, your suggestive style's rubbing off on me *nods complacently*. Katie didn't like my popcorn venture, for it was suggestive. Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:05 pm

Loving this thread. Very entertaining.

Thank you for not judging me Smile not that I thought you would. Partly because of the single fact that you wrote this piece. And I definitely agree that it is exceptionally silly to judge people based on who they fall in love with. It's not something you can control. At ALL.
Please make a poster about it Smile Smile

Overwhelming is exactly the word for it. But I don't know, in a way it's almost nice because you can't do anything about it - means you don't have to take that major risk which is involved with asking anyone out and which is the reason I am forever single.
Also, I looked up Loving Annabelle; that looks like a good movie. Except slightly squicky at the same time, because yes, I am deeply affected by our social mores.

Re Honey, I don't know if it would be better changed. It would depend how you changed it, I suppose. But honey is neither eroding nor does it have the ability to be carved... so it confuses me.
[Honey Honey IS hypnotic, although I don't like that song so much... not my favourite of hers. I like Brandy Alexander Smile ]

Rereading the last paragraph, I do slightly agree with Yuliya's analysis (the A, B, C points) - mostly the 'thank you'. Ultimately I find that slightly confusing. I'm not sure. Surely it would be the narrator whispering 'thank you'? Or have I not read this closely enough.
ALTHOUGH, I would argue that different people have different types of trains of thought and it is perfectly possible to have a billion things going on in your head while trying to remain cool and collected in the face of a (and I quote, because I love this line) "staggering sentimental surreptitious soul-yearning". Often I find I had too much going on in my head. Those good moments are too short.

And yes. Of course it will depend on the interpretation. That's the beauty of it, as Yuliya said.

By the way, I still have Stalin and the Children somewhere. Remind me to do something nice with it one day. (Erm. In a scan-in-and-send-to-Angela&Yuliya kind of way.)

Please write more of these slightly-squicky-but-always-intriguing relationships. I like :]
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:18 pm

I LOVE this thread. It starts off with an awesome piece, then criticism, hesitation, apology, reassurance; the search for an unachiavable perfection; murderous erosive honey; threats (I'm still not convinced it wasn't Suspect ); 'murther' mentions; a very schizoid conversation (I'm not going to go over everything - it's all there, just connect the scrambled dots); PI DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; authority, commands, and obedience; a black hole story; differences of opinion; commentary onsoccietal mores; a good movie; an ok song (sorry, Angela); and now HITLER AND THE CHILDREN!!!

I think I'll ditch the forum and just stalk the thread.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:21 pm

Wait. Confuse-ed. Where are Hitler and the Children?!
This does not exist. It should. ASAP. But I am not the one to do it. Nay, we all know who must write Hitler and the Children, the much-anticipated sequel to the famous and arresting (literally? perhaps) success that was STALIN AND THE CHILDREN -

It must be ANGELA.

And yeah. This thread has it all. Although I still have neglected to seriously read most of the beginning, primarily because it is pretty incomprehensible.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:27 pm

hee hee. >.>

You noticed.

i was going to see if anyone would.

and you did.

hee hee >.X

Because I'm hyper.

and this already has STalin and the children

and I felt like a prude repeating everything

people can read for themselves, y'know.

hee hee >_X

so I wrote it in

and waited

lying in wait

oh so quietly

and you noticed, hee hee

I am really brain dead X_X
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:32 pm

I did actually suspect that possibility.

Although I do not take back my request for Hitler and the Children to exist NOW.
Since we all know the Hitlerjugend was very influential in Nazi Germany and thus a Hitler and the Children fairytale would not be implausible.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:36 pm

YAY! How about... a Hitler,t eh children, and the BLACK HOLE story?! It would be autobiographical if Angela writes it, which she sould . ^_^

Ohhh, i swear those cold medications mess with your brain.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:39 pm

I didn't completely understand the whole black hole thing... I will have to read this thread when I am more awake and when people aren't adding to it.
But yes. We will force Angela to write it, whatever it is.


I second your last; I once did some very philosophical thinking while on cold medication.
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PostSubject: Re: Academia can be so very suffocating   Mon Mar 15, 2010 11:40 pm

Razz Aw. Well. It's okay that you guys think it's not that great a song. I only said it was hypnotic, I believe. Not awesome. But I may stand corrected.

What are other squicky relationships? I can't seem to think of any at the moment other than incest. Subordinate/boss relationships are sort of too much the same as student/teacher I think. And incest is waaaay to squicky for me to do. I think it has to do with the fact that it really is baaad... where as subboss and stucher ships are still acceptable depending on the case.

What did she notice? I am confused. >.>

Sorry for giving you nightmares, Yuliya... YOU DIDN'T NOTICE MY ALLITERATION! Or maybe you chose not to comment on it because it was so lame... Very Happy

Oh, the thank you was from the teacher. Just to clarify. ;]

I would make a poster, if it would make any difference. Trouble is, there have been millions of posters made and paper wasted to the cause, and there hasn't been much change...


I concur. Good moments are always much too fleeting. And then you're left with nothing but the memories and regret.
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