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Owle Gray

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Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Random snippet   Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:44 am

I set upon the altar of this forum some more of my mediocre writing, in the unjustified hopes that it shall be criticized, disected, and ameliorated for me by the masters of elocution.

This was a tiny piece inspired by a Medusa pic I saw in a magazine today. <-- So, it's not exactly original.

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NOT that anyone is on this anymore... Still, assuming someone still visits the forum as a guest.

Sorry guys, but I will remove this poem for now; I submitted it to a contest by the poetry institute, and for superstitious reasons would like it not to appear anywhere pending any news... I'll put it back up eventually!


And yes, I suppose it is original Smile


Last edited by Owle Gray on Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:36 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Dark S3cret
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Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Random snippet   Sun Mar 07, 2010 12:08 pm

Just because it was inspired does not mean it's not original. Razz Although it is arguable.
Hmmm. I like your opening blurb. As if! Now I feel obliged to use my intelligent vocabulary, which is very limited. Razz

Oh. I love the simple rhyme scheme and the short phrases. The tonality of which seems to suggest an anxiety, as if faced with the choice... It`s very poetic but the subject is clear. I also like how the rhyming words are almost anagrams of one another... or wait. That is just the first couplet. However, very little changes from word to word, only like... a letter. i.e. ponder/wonder, dead/dread.... and then the I/die/awry/eye -- all very short words which seem to amalgamate into a very strong conclusion of this observer's fate.

I also enjoy how the curiosity and the knowledge of the fact that knowing means death is melded together in your verses, switching from one to the other in a conflicted argument within oneself.

Curiosity sometimes kills, doesn't it?
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Owle Gray

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Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Random snippet   Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:10 pm

Medusa’s Eye

The blue green crystal of an orb -
To glimpse it once would be to rob
Yourself of life; and yet I ponder
What lies within that eye of wonder
Unseen by any, save the dead
Glimpsed in a moment, met with dread.
What hides within that iris? Would I
Agree to be a stone, to die
So I could rend my plans awry
And glimpse Medusa’s eye?

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