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Traverse Writer

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PostSubject: Trying out something new...   Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:47 am

I've been fascinated by a trend happening called cell phone novels. Yes, CELL PHONE NOVELS! Crazy, huh? Anyway, I wanted to try something out like it, but I don't got a cell phone (probably never will so don't ask, but maybe a blackberry--anyway I'm going off topic).

Hence each chapter would be nice and short. Mind you, I'm still experimenting with this type of style and it's my first time do first person. *shock/gasp* :O

Anyway I don't really know how long a cell phone novel chapter is (I've heard different things, which just annoys the hell out of me and confuses me to no end) so I'm trying to limit my word count from 100-500ish (although I might push it and go to the limit of 100-1000ish). Honestly I don't know, but just think of it as short chapters only there's more of them. Now I'm confusing myself, so I'll shut-up now.

But if you want to know more about it (I've been debating whether to post this or to talk to you people about this, 'cause personally I think its cool) there's a wiki link (yay, wiki!) or you could ask me about it.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cell_phone_novel


Anyway, I'll get to my whole point of my post. I've written several chapters already (mind you this is an entirely different project, I'm working on three) and this story is still 'Untitled'. I'm still juggling for titles so that's why I haven't really noted a title for this and this is largely why its a 'plot bunny' still.


Now time for me to really shut up and finally let you read!

_______________________________________________________________


Chapter One: Warmth


Cheers, encouraging the transpiring events with building enthusiasm, stopped abruptly.
Stolen by me as I fell. The cold earth touching my face didn’t reassure me. Everything was muted. I couldn’t make out what people were saying but I had an idea.

“Geez,” groaned one male, “what a wimp.”
“Oh my god,” gasped a female voice.
“Hey,” asked another male voice, “is she dead?”
“Beats me,” trembled another male.

Everything fades out to black.
And into complete darkness.

But I knew one thing.
No one cared.
Not the paramedics who helped me into the ambulance. Or the doctors asking me to stay awake and hang in there. Not even the nurses constantly telling me that everything would be fine.
Because it wasn’t.

Yet there was a voice who comforted me those days locked up in the cold white hospital. Her voice was warm and gentle like a mother’s. But my mother wouldn’t come, she wasn’t alive anymore. And I have no words for my father either for he’s gone too.
However her face was faint but I can definitely remember her hair.

It was an orangey-red.

______________________________________________________________

Did I mension that I'm still experimenting with the format and the style?


Please let me know what you think. Very Happy
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Owle Gray

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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:40 am

Thanks for posting this - it's an interesting idea, but it takes getting used to.

I think it's neat how you can work with the spacing of it. I read that bit on the wiki about the text having to fit onto a tiny screen. Would not that be a neat idea for suspense/horror novels, with the reader having to constantly scroll to the next line?

It was a bit strange for me, though; the narrative was choppy. Probably because I'm not used to text messaging...

I'd put in a lot more commas to separate it out - the transitions from short one-liners to long-ish paragraphs freaked me out. I kept looking for a pattern as to when it's short and when it's not, but I didn't get it.

I really liked the beginning, though; I did not catch it all at first, but reading it a second time, I kind of thought, 'whoa. NICE'.


Hope that was somewhat useful... My brain is all over the place at the moment X_X
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Traverse Writer

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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:28 pm

Thanks Owlie (yay a nickname! Is that alright?)

Like I've mensioned before I don't have a cell phone but my laptop and mircosoft word so it's a bit difficult to judge if it works or not. But I have to say it looked better when it was on word. On here, it looks just horrid. Sad Nevertheless, I'm still tinkering with the format of this.

And now that you mension it, it would work extremely well for horror stories. *daydreams but snaps out of it*

As for the narrative being a bit choppy, this is my first time in a long while doing first person. And I was reading other examples of cell phone novels and they were a bit like this (however I'm probably wrong cause this is my first try at it). Although this could be the work of how its current format. Again I'm still experimenting. Neutral

Although I'll probably repost the first chappie again because I was struck by an idea of how to fix the choppyness (probably not a real word, I know) and the one liners/paragraphs. I have to admit I hate how it came out on this post. Mad Makes my writing look sloppy and I don't like sloppy. Neutral

But thanks for the suggestions and feedback! Very Happy
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Dark S3cret
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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Sun Mar 07, 2010 12:27 pm

Mmm. I like the idea. It's fascinating.
I agree with Yuliya/Owle Gray with the diff.lengths of the sentences. But I also understand your dilemma. I guess you should just keep practicing and trying it out.

@ Owle Gray: I like the horror story Idea. We should Totally do it.
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Traverse Writer

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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:50 pm

Hmmm...I've been working around with the format and I have to admit, it looks even longer. (laughs) I think this story might not be considered as a cell phone novel (but the chapters are still short though). And I've also run into a bit of a road block with the 1st POV which kind of sucks... Because I have two characters and I want to interwine them. Hence I was reading up on "narrative modes".

Here's the Wiki link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_mode

I was debating whether it'll alternate between protagonists or not in 1st person or I'll go back to 3rd POV. I know, and I really wanted to try out 1st person but a notion struck me and I think my mind is just "running" away with it. (sighs)

What do you guys think? Neutral

I will try my best to keep it like a cell phone novel but I highly think people will still see it as one once you read further into the story... I'll still figuring out this format and experimenting with POV (point of views) but please let me know what you think. It may help me get this straight so I can actually start posting some chappies (it's getting interesting from what I see in my head and what I'm planning out). I hope to do a lot on it during March Break (I'm already at chapter eightish, largely depending on how this goes and what POV I go with for the plan of action).

Oh, and did I mension it'll have Japanese culture references? Meaning its set in Japan as well as a dash of good old London, England (or should it be Canada?).

And thanks Angela for your feedback and you too, Owle! I can't thank-you guys enough! Razz

Your opinions and suggestions would be great help! Very Happy


PS.
Here's more info I dug up on the cell phone novel (it originated in Japan) if you want to take a peek. Wink

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_mobile_phone_culture

One thing I can say, their cell phones are waaaay more advanced than ours. Shocked
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Owle Gray

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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Mon Mar 08, 2010 1:50 am

You know there are always epistolary novels to fall back on, so you should not be pressured to make it the exact cell phone novel format. I think cell phone novels are just the old epistolary novel applied to a small screen format. What I’m saying is, it’s your piece, work with it, and don’t get distracted by the style’s requirements.

I read it over again. I like 1st person. Third would make (the first chapter at least) too detached, and kill the subject matter.
I think toggling protagonists could work. Obviously, I know of neither the plot nor the characters, so I can’t judge what problems will arise. But if you alter the tone of each narrator just enough, perhaps throw in certain mannerisms or phrases particular to each, it’ll add to the flavour of the story. I once read a book (long, long ago), which I loved because it had two interwoven plots told from two VERY different characters, until you started to figure out that the characters actually appeared in each other’s plots. It was powerful enough to stick in my mind for eight years.

I vote for the 1st person people version. :]

And my advice to making it a sweet and succinct cell phone novel is: write it up in its entirety, ignore it, then come back and brutally sever anything that does not ABSOLUTELY have to be there. As in, adverbs, extra lines, extra descriptions, … if you cut and your heart is bleeding for the phrase, bring it back. I’m amazed at how much I cut when I do that on my works. It’s painful to do, but you are left with only the stuff you really like as a result.
I could cut this comment down to a few phrases w/ that method. Razz But I’m lazy. Wink
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Traverse Writer

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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Mon Mar 08, 2010 8:44 am

Thank-you Owle for that, I needed it. (smiles) I think it 'might' not be a cell phone novel (or maybe not the regular run of the mill one) because I think the chapters may get bigger. But I think I let this run with itself because I like where's its going so far. Perhaps I shall try that method because sometimes I really think some parts would do better with 1st POV than 3rd POV personally.

I shall try my best! Very Happy

This might also mean I might have to do some rewritting or perhaps I'll do something that I once saw done in a novel. The author had two main characters and the book was in three parts (I think) with the character POV switching until the (I think) last Arc of the book where it switch to 3rd person because both main characters had met up with each other. I always thought I was a neat idea. Maybe it'll work for this story?

But I shall post updates of how its doing and random snipets (I mispelt it, I think). Then if you guys want me to, I'll think about posting some chapters on here for you guys to read and whatnot.

Thanks for the help. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Tue Mar 09, 2010 1:49 am

Updates:
I got the idea formed firmly in mind, I just need some time to get down and tinkered with meaning the format. I shall post more regarding this project (which I'm afraid its going to be just another novel of mine, not a cell phone novel) in due time.

And about the horror story cell phone novel, I thought why not everyone do one chapter then the next person does the next and so on and so forth? It's what's called a chain novel, meaning multiple authors working on one story and writing their part.

What do you think?

It would definitely work with the 50-250 word limit quite nicely. Yes I think this is what it is, then again for Japanese standard I read somewhere its 50-100ish word count per chapter which I find a bit too short but that's the whole idea, isn't it? So what if I stretched it out a wee bit, it might work to our advantage.
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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:45 am

Hey, I'm sick. And I just have to say this: I get the most scariest story ideas and nightmares. Neutral Right now I'm doing something that somehow involves criminals/murders and theme parks. O.o

Don't ask where I get these ideas.

And by the way I found something that'll help people. Check it out here:

http://dragonwritingprompts.blogsome.com/2009/02/07/1000-verbs-to-write-by/

It'll really help ya, I can say that! But I'll try to post something soon. As soon as my brain quits giving me weird plots that'll give me nightmares. O.o Seriously being all stuffed up makes you weird in the head.

As for the original story I was going to do, which you guys were helpin' me with, I need to put it aside. I can't seem to get the beginning and quite frankly if I overdo it I may never try something of that. So I'll keep on trying different plot ideas until I get something worthy to post for you guys. Alright?

Now I'm going to bed. Nite.
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PostSubject: Re: Trying out something new...   Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:34 pm

Alright I'm finally totally over my cold! Very Happy And I'm back in the zone, my Writer's Block has been lifted. My head finally screwed on just right again, which is a good thing. I'm still trying to do it with 1st POV and it actually works with this plot. I shall post the first chapter in a day or so for some feedback. If you wanted to know, I've left some hints of it in my signature (I'm always changing it to let people know what I'm on so don't worry).

I'm thinking of breaking the novel into Three Parts or "Branches" (beats me, I'm still working with the format) with the first Part focused on the Guy Protagonist's POV, then the second part will be from the Girl Protagonist's POV and the last part may be 3rd POV. It's not certain, so just bear with me here. I also want to include some Japanese influences and culture since a majority of the story would occur in Japan but will soon stretch across the globe. But not to worry, there won't be THAT much Japanese influence mostly just titles, names and places.

Basically it's going to be a Cat-and-Mouse type of story, I hope. silent
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