HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Belated Self-Identity Prompt

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:39 am

So here is what I had last Monday, without changes. Too dead to make changes.

Life of Lettuce
Life-giving water was slowly evaporating off of my green body. I was losing life at an alarming rate. The smooth rigidity of my porous body allowed me to retain my life’s shape: a satiric parody of existence. Beneath me, coarse polyethylene. Close by, the deformed outline of a discarded green spheroid, teeth marks still easily discerned on its oxidized brown coating. Above me… I could not see beyond the drafts of air that gently caressed my xylem; after all, I did not even have eyes.
I was a piece of lettuce. How curious that a soul chose to lodge in this porous green body only after it has been severed from mother earth and brutally quartered for mass consumption. But then again, was it unusual? After all, each soul enters each body with a clear perspective of future imminent death.
This was depressing. The few moments of my short life could be better-spent than in bemoaning the insignificance of my spirit. But what could I do?
Heavy drops of juice rained around me as the neighbouring apple crumbled at the powerful jaw’s mechanical oscillation. You humans – how ignorantly happy you are! For you can smile and frown and cry and laugh; none of these pleasures were offered a piece of lettuce. The shard of life that I received, I wanted to live to the fullest; I had to make meaning of the pointless episode I have been forced to experience – forced by divine blessing, or divine farce… and yet I could not. I lay still, motionless.
The ominous thunder of leftovers hitting the garbage can reverberated through the air. A single green stem was dropped into the puddle of juice beside me – the only remains of the closest I had to a neighbour. And in that moment, the fear of death bred life: I lived, I felt, as I had never done before, a single speck of sparkling consciousness in the ocean of life. My life was complete, for I experienced it.
An unknown force squished my feeble body and brought it between two rows of perfect enamel white. I knew what I was now – for I had lived a mistaken identity for the entirety of my existence. I was not a noble creation full of life. I was lunch.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Tue Mar 02, 2010 11:57 pm

Oh. You are amazing.
This is brilliant. As I have said before. No editing needed!

Initially when you first read this, I was giggling because I was amazed at how scientific your creative writing was. Very Happy But it was also truly, magnificiently poetic.
I also love the tone you employed to this piece, deadly serious yet satirical at the same time.

I have to say I love your vocabulary as well. It's a wonder you can manage all this with such sleep deprivation, I can only imagine how brilliant you are with more sleep!

Oh and... your last line. GOLDEN.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
root vegetable

avatar

Number of posts : 52
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Wed Mar 03, 2010 12:35 am

*repeats what Angela just said, but not as smart-sounding*
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:00 pm

Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of the forum. *insert self-satisfied smile*

Thanks for the crit's!

To be honest, I think I peak when I'm sleep-deprived Shocked My thoughts just flow better when the frontal lobe isn't fully awake to control them.

It was really awkward to eat the lettuce after I wrote about it. Wink
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:50 pm

Ahahaha. I can imagine. Poor lettuce.
You should do a series of these with different inanimate objects!
That would be interesting....

Anyway. I agree with you fully. My best work is often made in the whee hours of the early early morning. And yes, I said whee instead of wee.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:54 pm

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

^ THAT is the wolf-child that sleep-deprimation and caffeine ultimately breed bounce
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:57 am

You know, it's funny you would suggest that series. I am currently working on a little collection of miniworks that I call Les Etudes, where I kind of... well, I try to record glimpses of scenes, the way I see them. There is little plot to these things, and so far little merit, but they tend to found themselves around non-human protaagonists.... It's in the early development stage of blather on a page, but I might post one or two once I prune them... Where on this forum would that go? It's less than a short story, but not a writing exercise.

I'll try your idea with inanimate objects, see what I can spew out.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
The Blue Box

avatar

Number of posts : 62
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-10-04

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Sun Mar 07, 2010 9:35 am

Angela did the thing justice, so I won't repeat her praise. My favourite bit, though, is the beginning - I like the description and I especially like how you managed to work 'polyethylene' in there.

What I wanted to say, though, was in response to this - "There is little plot to these things, and so far little merit". I hope you're not saying that there is little merit because there is little plot. Because that's not true. I don't think you are, though, and I really like the idea of 'etudes'. It's the kind of thing I would write. I enjoy writing descriptions of situations far more than I enjoy writing plot. (Not that I write very much. Which makes me feel kind of bad since I don't really post anything on here. But I read a lot..)
So, please do post your etudes, and I will read them eagerly Smile
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Sun Mar 07, 2010 12:22 pm

OMG. I totally agree. Plot is so tedious.
I think also, it has something to do with being girls. We tend to like the emotional, taking one feeling, one scene and just describing and portraying it. Not being sexist or anything, just a point of observation that seems to be generally true.

Sometimes the best works are those that capture a feeling, at least I wholeheartedly like to believe so. You can have a great plot, but in the end that might be the only thing you have because if you cannot write and capture the feelings or depth of characters or whatever, then there is little merit to the story. Kinda like the DaVinci Code!

Anyway. Do post them! We do have this one category called "other projects" but they can definitely go into the short stories, but number them or something so we know they're all part of the same series.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:16 am

@ The Blue Box [LOVE your username & avatar]:
No, I did not mean that no plot = no merrit. I find that being tied down to a plot necessitates action, which does not always correspond to real life. Sometimes, you are caught in a moment, and it means the world to you, but when you look back to analyse what was said, or what happened, your reason cannot capture a cause for that emotion.
I just meant that my stories had little merit. The way I write, I have this assailing need to spew words onto a page, and then I rarely revisit the ugliness to make it coherent. I would need to make drastic changes to most of my stuff before it is post-able. No praise to plot intended. :]

@Angela
Plot is infuriating at times. And I agree, an idea or a fleeting feeling is all that is really needed. I think that women generally (though not exclusively) observe and decribe the finer details immaculately. So, when a woman sits down to work out a multi-charactered, sub-plot-containing work (such as Edible Woman) it becomes overloaded with detail and staggers under its own weight. I'll try and whip something up ASAP.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
The Blue Box

avatar

Number of posts : 62
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-10-04

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:02 am

I would agree with the gross generalisation about women. I really like reading books like The No. One Ladies' Detective Agency BECAUSE there isn't a whole lot of plot - it's mostly moments in time.

And I will get back to you, Yuliya, when I have read Edible Woman Smile

As for your response, I thought that might be it. And I definitely know what you mean. The only thing I consistently write is my 'diary' thing, and that's so in the moment that most of it is slightly rubbish (and also very personal).

Oh, and by the way Yuliya, I wasn't sure if you'd picked up on this - I'm actually Katie Smile (You know, the 'is that a synapse on your mug' one. Wink ) And thanks. I love my name/avatar too <3
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:10 pm

NO WAI. YOU'RE KATIE?!!
=] I have to finish Emma (and start Emma, for that matter) before tackling Edible Woman. I cannot wait to read it though, Margaret Atwood is a god.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:11 pm

Hm.. maybe that's why I never finish my novels. Razz

I find that the plot-centric (by that I mean stories that focus almost exclusively on plot) novels are mostly bestselling page-turners which really and most often do not represent the fine art of literature. I can be wrong, but thinking on it now, the only ones that come to mind seem such.
I don't know if this is just me, but do either of you find a convoluted plot really draining? I mean, much more so than reading a passage just about feeling, which can either be heavily loaded with literary features or bare and simple and still incomprehendingly breath-takingly beautiful.

Not diminishing the purpose or importance of a plot, because I truly do envy anyone who can create an engaging one without holes, just saying. XD


Last edited by Dark S3cret on Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:11 pm

Go heavyweights. ;]
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Traverse Writer

avatar

Number of posts : 114
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-22

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:14 pm

Finally I'm jumping into this conversation. Sorry, its hard to sit back and read this since its getting interesting!

@Owle Grey
I agree with everyone else and everyone else pretty much said what I thought was good and whatnot. So if I just repeat it, it'll sound redundent. Which in my opinion makes me sound like a fool. But definitly looking forward to the inanimated objects series. It should be interesting.

@Angela
Plot holes? I haven't read DaVinci Code yet but I'd like to, is it any good? And are there any stories with engaging plots without them damn holes like what you described Angela? I'm kind of curious to what kind of story would fit that bill.

@Katie
I love your avatar and name too! Very Happy And Margret Atwood is a popular author if I'm correct. I'm currently beginning to read The Handmaid's Tale and I like it except how she did the dialogue without the quotation marks. But Cat's Eye is good although I haven't had much time to read much of it...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:35 am

@ Katie
I did address you by name on the other post... I just wanted to place emphasis on the Doctor Who essence that brightens up this forum. And I love how it's with the 'synapse mug' that you want to be associated.

@ Angela
I'm actually not sure about that. I, for one, found it hard to read Edible Woman at first, precisely because of the obssessive detail {did that make sense?}. I like some books that are very plot-driven, but then again, so much goes into a book that I could argue they might not capture a feeling, but do have abstract reasoning behind the plot. The book I'm thinking of in particular is Russian, though. You get tangled in the plot, and that is sort of the point the writers are trying to get across.
I think plot structure is an art like any other, and there are some incadescent minds in that field, and many ...uhhh... less-than-successful attempts.

Don't know if that made sense, my brain is currently blue, andpersonified, and looking like this --> Sleep
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:12 am

Oh most definitely, Yuliya. Just reitorating : I am not trying to diminishing importance of plots.

As for the DaVinci Code, Megan, the only thing I can say I was blown away by was the plot. But you'll see that his writing style is very juvenile and that his characters are very flat and static. Although most people don't notice that because the plot is so good.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Sun Mar 14, 2010 2:24 pm

I was thinking about this discussion for a while now. I think we all like our plots, but it's an interesting observations that none of us seem to place plot as the cuddly subject of our literary affections.

I think for me, the thing beyond plot that I would elope with in a story is thought.
I luuuve stories with feeling, and I like the feeling, but for me, if there is a point of contention presented within the work, it's like ... like giving me a cup of tea and saying 'make it happen': I have the caffeine fuel, I have a taste to build around, and I can make a great breakfast.
If I were given a feeling, I would be absorbed by that feeling, overpowered by its essence, which is ensnaring, and cool, but very derailing. If I were given a thought, I can pour out whatever feeling I have towards it, and I can still feel in control.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:18 pm

Fascinating... Um. I'm going to come back to this when I am a little more lucid and in the game. Razz I feel woefully inadequate replying to this seriously now when I can barely articulate my thoughts coherently.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Owle Gray

avatar

Number of posts : 163
Age : 25
Registration date : 2010-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   Sun Mar 14, 2010 11:32 pm

'barely articulate my thoughts coherently'

Sounds like you're doing alright. Laughing
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Belated Self-Identity Prompt   

Back to top Go down
 
Belated Self-Identity Prompt
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Happy belated birthday Christina!
» Happy belated birthday Karen (armonies great gram)!
» Happy Belated Birthday Lucy!!!
» Belated (but heartfelt) congratulations to Rhonda!
» Chinese/Japanese teapot 5in tall, genuine or fake ?

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
P.W.N. People Writing Nonsense! :: GRADUATES :: Short Stories-
Jump to: