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 Afternoon Light

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Sarabi

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Number of posts : 78
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Afternoon Light   Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:36 am

Soft afternoon light flowed freely into the room, sharing its delights with the dust motes that twirled and danced through the air, miniscule points that couldn’t possibly have emotions, yet managed to be joyous anyhow. Áine watched them as they swirled past her face, and small grin tugged at the corner of her mouth. Late afternoon was her favourite time of day, when the sun hit the exact angle it needed to send its streams of gold through her bedroom window.

Lying on her bed, she could see the apartment building next to hers, the new one that blocked out the sun for the better part of the day. It had been ugly when it was just a gaping wound in the earth, and now it was hideous, all thirteen floors of it. Leaving Áine’s building in the dark seemed to be its only purpose. She had never seen a single person walk into the damn thing, let alone live there.

“Ouch!” Áine yelped in pain as something clamped on to her foot, interrupting her misery. She turned away from her window of light to glare at the culprit, a gangly brown teen-cat. The cat, having caught its prey, then proceeded to solemnly maim and kill her sock. “Fudge, you moron, that’s not a toy!” She ripped the sock off and threw it across the room, hoping her idiot cat would chase it. No such luck, Áine realised. Fudge was now glaring at her, as if it were her fault his catch had disappeared.

.....................................................................................................

HELP!!! I want to take this story further, but I have no clue how I'm going to do that. All I know is that a guy is going to move in to the penthouse of the new apartment building, and he's going to be a main component in whatever happens next. The cat and/or Áine (Awn-ya) may/may not have some kind of psychic ability. *Panic* study
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Traverse Writer

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Number of posts : 114
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-22

PostSubject: Re: Afternoon Light   Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:56 pm

Awwww.... I like LOVE it! Very Happy Hmmm....I also like the title too I was going to use a title like that on another story I have cooking in my mind (but its okay but its nice to think great creative minds can think alike). I have a bit of a writer's block on it too, so I understand your meaning. It's a drag isn't it? Neutral BUT I'm also dumping it into the Plot Bunny section too.

Perhaps you could have (since there's a guy moving in) show movers being noisy and her mind reeling what that sound is and is wondering what's going on? OR perhaps keep doing random things (read random stuf that could work with your story, listen to music, or play video games, watch anime/TV for inspiration). That's what I do, but hey that's me--its up to you mainly how to go about your story. I'm just a reader but I'd LOVE to help in any way I can though.

This may sound random but DAMN! Shocked I just LOVE the composure to the beginning of this story! I feel as if I'm there myself. Makes me want to read more (except there isn't any...yet) and so, I'll be happy to help ya out! I can sense this would be a really great series to write! (Honestly I'm not kidding!)

study
I'm jealous but congrats. *winks*


By the way...LOVE your avatar! (where is it from?)
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Sarabi

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Number of posts : 78
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Afternoon Light   Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:52 pm

Thankeez for the comments!! I can't wait to read the post you mentioned, and great ideas for getting inspired. Very Happy

Thanks for that... I wasn't sure how that kind of beginning would be recieved, because it's so different from my usual writing, which is mostly dialogue, not train of thought. I hope I can pursue this one 'till it's book length, at least. study

The avatar is the front cover of Svetlana Chmakova's Nightschool. She's a canadian mangaka, and I LOVE the series Very Happy
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