HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Look at What They Did...

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Sarabi

avatar

Number of posts : 78
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:06 pm

This is another story that was written in writing club, by multiple people.

.......................................................................................................

Okay, she thought, staring at the knife in her hand as though it were a snake about to bite her. I can do this. Just one cut. Her hand trembled, and the eager crowd stared at her, waiting.

One man cried out for her to hurry. She felt her face go red hot. Her knees began to tremble as well. A guard on the sidelines began to laugh profusely.
"This is a cruel form of execution!" argued a Deshyr rather unconvincingly. He sat in the top level of the stadium, leaning over the balcony.

This Deshyr was an honourable man. If anyone who knew him saw him at the execution, they'd be surprised. Probably forced here against his will, an unwilling witness to the unfair penalty.

She stood at the centre of it all. She stared up at him, her one supporter. She felt the crowd get restless.

Cold eyes stared unwaveringly back.The crowd continued to complain. She closed her eyes. She could do this. Slowly, trembling hands rested the serrated edge against soft skin. Looking down, she saw her reflection before a few teardrops blocked it. This was no victory, this was hell.

.....................................................................................................

I was the one who started this story, and because I am horridly slow at writing, I never got around to mentioning something. That thing she was about to cut into? It was a wedding cake, not herself. She was getting married, and it got turned into a gory public execution. You people are morbid creatures.

After I had recovered from my initial shock and indignation, I noticed that not only is each writer slightly different in where they took the story, one turning it into a spectacle, others focusing in on one member of the crowd, before taking it back to the death of my character, each person who contributed also had their own style of writing. I love working with dialogue, so even when my characters aren't saying things out loud, they talk to the reader in their head. Others don't write like this (shocking, I know), so this particular story turned into a mosaic of sorts. Notice the difference between the first and last entries: "I can do this.", as opposed to "She could do this."
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sarabi

avatar

Number of posts : 78
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 8:10 pm

Wow I just realized that what was ment as a short expository commentary turned into a rant/english class. My apologies to anyone who was offended or bored by that last little blurb. Embarassed
Back to top Go down
View user profile
MiNgLeR ~Y~

avatar

Number of posts : 48
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-03-09

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:02 pm

I WAS SOOOO OFFENDED. I HATE YOU NOW....jk, no offence here.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sarabi

avatar

Number of posts : 78
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:19 pm

Laughing Haha. Wait. You WERE kidding, right? pale
Back to top Go down
View user profile
MiNgLeR ~Y~

avatar

Number of posts : 48
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-03-09

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:29 pm

yeah, i'm kidding. though I'm the one who turned it into an execution, soooo.... sorry bout that...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sarabi

avatar

Number of posts : 78
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:07 pm

Don't be. It was hysterical. After I got over the "How did they get THAT from what I wrote?" It was the funniest thing I'd seen that day.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Dark S3cret
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 458
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:25 pm

I really enjoyed how it turned out -- although everyone had something different in mind, it was very coherent. You should have seen what we came up with last year...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
root vegetable

avatar

Number of posts : 52
Age : 25
Registration date : 2009-01-26

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:19 pm

to give you an idea, one of last years started with a test, involved projectile rotten foods, and ended in a batman assasination
Back to top Go down
View user profile
MinglerX

avatar

Number of posts : 80
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-02-17

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:29 am

^ GOOD. I'd forgotten about that. xD

I actually really liked this. =)
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sarabi

avatar

Number of posts : 78
Age : 24
Registration date : 2009-10-25

PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:52 pm

I wonder what would happen if we did a longer one study
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Look at What They Did...   

Back to top Go down
 
Look at What They Did...
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
P.W.N. People Writing Nonsense! :: Original Works :: Writing Exercises-
Jump to: